What is Sex & Intimacy Coaching and what can it do for YOU?

Let’s face it – unsatisfying sex sucks! As a Sex & Intimacy Coach, I can turn your sex life around and help you have a juicy intimate, loving marriage that lasts. Coaching offers a completely confidential way for you to experience great sex, improve your relationship AND have a more fulfilling life.

Do you want a better and more exciting sex life?

Do you want real concrete ways to add passion back into your love life?

Do you want to have satisfying sex like you’ve never had before?

Studies show that up to 50% of us are dissatisfied, unfulfilled, and
frustrated in the bedroom. You may be:

– in a new relationship and want the sex to be as great as possible
– single and not wanting to repeat past sexual blunders
– in a long term relationship and in a sexual rut
– desperate for change in the bedroom!

If you want ideas, tools, and a plan to get the gratifying and exciting sex life you truly desire, then sex coaching is your solution.

What it isn’t

First I should explain that I am NOT on the edge of your bed with a whistle saying

“Go right, a little to the left, add more lube!”

And while our work together is primarily by phone, I won’t be on the phone listening through the speaker while you make love and offering support, tips or advice. And lastly, I don’t watch videos of your sex life to offer kudos or suggestions for improvement.

We Begin – where are you at right now?

So now that we have that out of the way (smile), what exactly do I do? Well, we start by chatting on the phone about what is happening for/with/to you in your sex life. This may be things such as:

• We’re in a sexual rut and need to spice things up
• My husband/boyfriend doesn’t know how to please me
• He wants sex more/less than I do
• He wants oral sex and I don’t want to (or am unsure how to) do it
• He can’t get it up and that frustrates us both
• I’ve lost my interest in sex and want to get my sex drive back
• I have some things ‘blocking’ me from receiving pleasure
• I can’t reach orgasm (ever, with my partner, only when alone, only during oral sex, etc.)
• My mind wanders and I don’t know how to stay focused in bed
• I’m not sexually confident
• My husband (or I) had an affair and it’s wrecking our sex life

This is just a partial list of the concerns my clients come to me for help with.

Then – what do you want?

Then we look at what it is that you would rather have AND if it is reasonable for you. “A new lover who knows how to please me without me even telling him” is not realistic! However, “I want to feel more uninhibited and confident in bed and easily ask for what I want” is totally doable!

Some comments and thoughts my clients have shared with me about their results from coaching:

• “We now have an exciting sex life!”
• “I now look forward to sex”
• “We talk about sex now and I feel so much more open and relaxed about it”
• “I’ve even initiated lovemaking for the first time ever”
• “I can now more easily let my lover know what I want without embarrassment”
• “We are much more in tune with each other’s sex drive”
• “We are both okay now with me not performing oral sex”
• “I now perform oral sex and am even starting to enjoy it!”
• “ I feel more confident when I go out to meet men (and don’t have to sleep with them to feel sexy)”
• “I can now be totally present in bed and if my mind wanders, I can easily bring it back – it’s fantastic how easy it is now!”
• “I think about sex much more often and my hubby loves the benefits!”
• “I have more orgasms”
• “I’m free to have so much more fun now that I don’t have to have an orgasm when we make love (ever or anytime)”

Next – the Plan

Next we create a plan specifically tailored for you in your situation to help you achieve all of your wants and desires for your love life! In each coaching session you will hang up the phone with concrete action steps designed by you (with my support) to help you on your path towards mind blowing sex with a man you love!

How I support you

I am there for you to help you stay on track not only during our sessions, but with the overall plan and I’ll even help you via email in between sessions if you need it. I offer support and help you be accountable for what you say you want and are willing to do to change things.

I don’t do the work for you. If you are the sort of person who is looking for someone to blame (my parents had such a lousy relationship – no wonder mine is horrible), then coaching is not for you. If you want someone to tell you what to do, then coaching is not for you. I am NOT the expert on your sex life – YOU are! I am there as a trained guide to support you, ask you the right questions, keep you accountable (did you write that letter to your lover that you said you would?) and honour you so you find the exact and perfect answer for you in your situation and for your life.

If you believe that your sex life should be like ‘they’ say it should be (magazines, movies, friends, relatives, media) then coaching is not right for you. I will help you discover your own Sexual Truth so that you can have the intimate relationship that fits perfectly for you.

How long do I need coaching?

How long does all of this take? It depends on you, your situation and how long the concern has been in your life.

Often it only takes a few sessions to get you back on track and on your way to communicating with your partner again. Often my clients will start with a 3 session package and then convert it to a monthly program once they see the immediate results and they discover there are other areas they want to look at in their relationship. If it is something that has bothered you for twenty years, it may take more than 3 or 4 sessions to move you to a place where it only occasionally pops up; perhaps a bit longer to be completely free of it – and you can be!

Other times people simply come back for ‘tune-ups’ of a session or two every so often throughout the year to keep things moving in the direction they want.

It really is up to you and what you want for yourself and your relationship. 

Bonus – Fun Sex Ed.

As a sex expert I am often called on to lead workshops, speak to groups or to offer private instruction on how to perform specific sexual acts (such as oral sex, masturbation or finding the g-spot), how to craft lovemaking so it is easier or more comfortable (due to medical concerns) or other specific sexual skills. You may want to add this as a bonus to your coaching package or simply sign up for a fun sex ed. class offered online or live or have a private session for yourself. Women often feel that private sessions help them to be more comfortable and the one on one attention helps them accomplish their goals quite quickly!

Either way, you can find solutions for your sexual concerns so you can be better in bed, do better in your relationship, and have a much more exciting life!

I mean really – what is your happiness and satisfaction worth to you?

Please call for more information at 250-753-8692 or email kim@kimswitnicki.com and we’ll see what options are best for you.

My recipe for starting off the sexy new you with a bang!

Here’s a sexy shake that you can make for your man so that he’ll taste yummier for oral sex:

Blend the following with a scoop of natural vanilla ice cream

2 tsp honey
1 cup milk
1/4 tsp ground cinnamon
1/4 tsp ground ginger
1/4 tsp ground nutmeg
1/4 tsp ground cloves
1 raw egg

If your man drinks this 1 hour before lovemaking, his ejaculate will taste sweeter!

Compliments of Harley Swiftdeer, Native American Shaman.

 I say you get bonus points if:
– you make him this sexy shake
– feed it to him
– and spend the next hour massaging each other!

Pineapple is also a fabulous fruit to sweeten your man up. Celery, kiwi, and strawberries work well too. The health benefits of fresh fruit and veggies are a bonus. 

Another romantic addition to your sexy shake evening could be candlelight. It truly is the most flattering light for love. It sets the mood, hides all manner of “less than perfect” areas of your body, and for some reason it offers a safer space for people to really look deeply into their partner’s eyes. So add some more romance to your evenings and break out the candles – they aren’t just for power outages!

Passionately,

Kim Switnicki, ACC

Sex Educator for Women, Sex & Intimacy Coach

Help, My Vibrator Makes Me Giggle

Question:

I am 51 years old and never used a vibrator before.  My boyfriend suggested one so I thought sure why not.  We also bought some KY intense and used it with the vibrator. My question is that though it feels amazing I laugh or rather giggle.  Is this normal, natural? Please answer.  This isn’t something I can ask just anyone!

Thanks.

Answer:

Thanks so much for your inquiry. Good for you for taking a chance and trying something new! The first part of my answer is yes, it absolutely is normal. When we try something new, there are lots of emotions around it. Especially since you may have been a bit nervous or curious or cautious or any of another dozen or so emotions, none of which is overly arousing :-) Not that you weren’t turned on as well, but the arousal part may not have been the strongest emotion that you felt at the time. Some women also find vibrators tickle them or they don’t even like the sensation. It really varies woman to woman and mood to mood. Sometimes it may drive you wild with delight and others you just may not be in the mood for it.

If this is something you want to continue using during lovemaking, I recommend you try using it by yourself some time to get more used to the feeling and see if it is something you can or even want to let turn you on more. It really is a personal choice where you go from here. If I can be of further help, as a Coach I can offer suggestions for using it or to help you through any concerns you have with the vibrator or even to help you explain to your man that you don’t want to use it anymore.  

In the meantime, here is some more information on how to get used to a vibrator:    

 Above all else, enjoy yourself!

PS: I’m not a fan of the KY combo massage and lubricant products. You should NEVER have massage oils inside the vagina since it messes with your natural Ph level and it can create a breeding ground for bacteria leading to infections. A natural, water soluble lubricant is best! This one is my favourites.   

Passionately,

Kim Switnicki, ACC
Sex Educator for Women, Sex & Intimacy Coach

www.KimSwitnicki.com

How women can boost their sex drive naturally!

Here are 4 quickie ways to increase your sex drive and have loads of fun while doing it. Let me know which ones you like – wink wink.

Write an erotic story

If you aren’t feeling sexy in your own skin, you may be concentrating too much on your body and any body image issues you may have. A good way to get past this is to stimulate your mind. The brain is the largest sex organ for women!! Writing an erotic story can stimulate you to think sexually which can then lead to feeling sexy; the mind leads the body. Writing an erotic story starring ‘you’ will energize erotic creativity, which will likely make you feel much more sexy and lustful.

Wear nothing but high heels

High heels are not just for the office, and in fact can have a stimulating effect when used to eroticize your body for your lover.  Kissing your lover wearing high heels (in the house!), and very little or very revealing clothing, will heighten feelings of lust and sensuality, and of course your partner will love it. Your legs and butt will look great, you’ll feel more sensual, a bit daring and you’ll be taller which adds confidence. Wearing high heels is a small change that can have a dramatic impact on how you feel about yourself and how your lover looks at you.

Blindfold your lover

Using a blindfold on your lover is a great way to break down inhibitions. If your lover can’t see you, you can feel bolder and braver, and more comfortable trying out new sexual positions and/or whispering sweet naughty words. You will feel more secure and in control, while your partner’s other senses will be heightened, allowing for great new sensual sensations and experiences for both of you.

Bath and body love

Taking time to treasure and pamper your body will encourage positive feelings about yourself and about your body. Feeling good in your body will allow you to be more aware of your sexual energy flow. When you are connected with your sexual energy, feelings of lust, sexiness, and confidence are easily accessible.  Stealing some time to take a sensual bath with all the trimmings, candles, bubbles, music, tasty drink (use all the senses to make it sense-ual), is an invaluable way to de-stress and clear the mind. After your bath, look in the mirror and focus on 3 body parts that you have been ignoring and that need some love, care and support. Embrace, caress, and admire these parts with warm feelings allowing loving energy to flow into them. If you do this 3 times in a week, you will feel tremendous in your body by the weekend!

Passionately,

Kim Switnicki, ACC

Sex Educator for Women, Sex & Intimacy Coach

www.kimswitnicki.com

Glow Magazine Asks Kim Switnicki: How Can Women Deal With Underwhelming Sex?

In the Summer 2010 edition of Glow Magazine (found at Shoppers Drug Mart in Canada), Lesley Young explores how women react to underwhelming sex, and gets strategies from sex experts (including myself) on how to make it better.

According to the Durex Sexual Wellbeing Global Survey, 44% of women are not satisfied with their sex lives!  Do we just grin and fake it, or do we take responsibility and control?  Well apparently we are doing more of the former, while we should be doing a lot more of the latter. 

How comfortable are we with taking control and asking for what we want?  As important as this is for our intimate relationships, many women aren’t comfortable doing that, and would prefer to continue hoping that her partner will be able “read our minds instead of talking about what we like or need”.    Sex and asking for what we want isn’t always easy, but there are strategies that you can use to make it easier for yourself.  For instance using a ‘Hot Spot Diagram’ I explained in the article is a great way for both you and your partner to learn something new about each other, no matter how well you think you already know one another.

But how well to do we truly know our own sexual selves?  How familiar are we really with what we like or need?  If 44% of us aren’t happy with our sex lives, do we really know what we want?  If we don’t know what we want, we won’t be able to help our partners or improve our sex lives.  Sexuality, and even more specifically female sexuality, has historically been something that is not discussed freely, nor learned about openly.  Female sexuality is quite commonly swept under the rug, and we are not given the opportunity or the guidance to really get to know our sexual truths, what works for us, what doesn’t, and how to communicate this to our partners.  More often than not, women end up holding onto the shame, insecurity, and conflicted feelings towards sex inherited from so many generations of women before us.  And unfortunately this shame, insecurity, conflicted feelings, and this massive lack of education and openness are still being passed down to our daughters.

I am a Sex Educator and a Sex & Intimacy Coach, so it isn’t any surprise that I believe that sex education is so vitally important; especially for women because we are the ones that set the tone for true intimacy.  Women do have the power to transform their sex lives.  I have seen this happen for so many of my clients, and both the women and their partners are thrilled to be a part of this transformation.  Because I feel so passionately that every woman deserves to have powerful and authentic sexual experiences HER WAY, I have dedicated my life to providing women the opportunity and the guidance to really explore her own sexuality, and to Unlock Her Own Sexual Code.  Whether she has unlocked it yet or not, every woman has a Sexual Code unique to her.  Your Sexual Code is the combination of factors that unlocks your authentic passion and confidence so you bring honest sex into your marriage and create lasting devotion.  Once you Unlock Your Code, you can start asking for what you want in the bedroom, and start getting the satisfaction you deserve from your sex life.

If you are ready to start finding out what you want and what you need, please join me in my free-tele-class entitled Stop Having Sex You Don’t Want to Have.  For more information please visit:  www.Iwillstopbadsex.com

Passionately,

Kim Switnicki, ACC

Sex Educator for Women, Sex & Intimacy Coach

www.kimswitnicki.com

Imagine a marriage where the honeymoon goes on and on

Plan now to make your love-life stronger & more vibrant – even after you’re married!

What will great sex do for your marriage, your partner, your life?

Does your bedroom shout ‘sensual heaven’ or is it crying out ‘clutter nightmare’?

Your bedroom should be a haven, a room to retreat to when pressure and stress get to you. When you and your lover enter, breathe in deeply, be present and devote yourselves to relaxation, rejuvenation and yes, Romance!

Set the stage for a lifetime of love and intimacy:

• Remove clutter from night tables (no homework, paperwork or bills to pay)
• Hide books in drawers unless they turn you on
• Keep sexy accessories clean and handy (with spare batteries too)
• Pick clothes up off the floor (keep them in closets, drawers, a hamper or another room)
• Add mood lighting such as a dimmer switch, pot lights or tri-light lamp
• Have scented candles, a holder and matches handy (don’t leave unattended)
• Fresh flowers always add the air of romance to a room
• Keep mints available for morning breath refreshment for sunrise surprises
• Have a piece of passionate inspiration on the walls such as a piece of art, a portrait or you and your lover or even a gorgeous view out a window
• Splurge on sensual covers for the bed and pillows in luxurious fabrics
• Adorn bed with pillows of all shapes and sizes (fabulous for lovemaking accessories too!)
• Bottled water is always advisable for hydration when things get hot (so you don’t have to get up!)

Go here and click on Prepare a Boudoir or 3 Steps to a Sexy Bedroom to see a video of me explaining this and more on Breakfast Television in Vancouver.

Show your partner that he and lovemaking are a priority in your life and you’ll both live happily ever after.

Passionately,

Kim Switnicki, ACC

Sex Educator for Women, Sex & Intimacy Coach

www.kimswitnicki.com

Are you a Betty or a Veronica?

So do you think you’re more like Betty or like Veronica – in the bedroom? Or is it more like what Jerry Hall (Mick Jagger’s ex) said, “a woman needs to be a cook in the kitchen, and a whore in the bedroom”? Or do you fall somewhere in between, or somewhere else? You may recall the hubbub last summer when Archie, “the world’s oldest [redheaded] teenager” ended up proposing to Veronica. I’m sure you recall the love triangle between him, Betty and Veronica – poor Archie could never decide whom he loved more! So was anyone surprised that Archie would be proposing to Veronica? I was not surprised by this at all. Guys do like the bad girls (and face it ladies we sometimes prefer the bad boys too)! It seems, however, that the world empathizes with the good girl – people were writing letters of encouragement to Betty! This is why it can be beneficial to be a “Betty” to the world, and a “Veronica” in the bedroom.

That all being said, here are some tips from my book, Great Sex For Hard Times on how to be a Veronica in the bedroom.

Tip 1: Shower with your mate
When : Especially great for when the kids are at home, but you are craving some alone time. When you are menstruating.

How : You don’t have to make love in the shower, but washing each other is great foreplay, great for intimacy building and great for private time without the kids. If using silicone lubricant, which doesn’t wash away with water, be extra careful that you don’t slip.

Why: For married couples with children, finding time to spend together can be a challenge. The shower can offer them the chance to be naked and alone together, which will help them maintain their passion and intimacy, while avoiding the need to hire a babysitter. You don’t always have to have intercourse while or after sharing the shower, although not a bad idea, just being able to share that intimate time together will deepen your connection which leads to greater sex. For most women, having their period puts a damper on sexual play so sex in the shower is the perfect answer – no mess!! And even more than that, it creates an extra layer of excitement and enticement, almost making it something to look forward to.

Tip 2: Use a tie as a blindfold to drive your partner wild
When: This is a perfect way to welcome your lover home after a long day at the office.

How: When your lover comes home, take his tie off and wrap it around his head like a blindfold covering his eyes, and tie it snugly. If your lover doesn’t wear a tie, you can be wearing one or a scarf when he comes home, and use this to cover his eyes. With your partner blinded, lean him against a wall or across a couch, and grab his hands and hold them over his head. Now you can start kissing him and exploring his body with your other hand and whisper in his ear seductively “Do you want more of this?” and see where it takes you.

Why : Without his ability to see and to grab you with his hands, his other senses will be enhanced dramatically. His awareness of what you are doing to him with your hands and your tongue will overwhelm him. He will be putty in your hands as all he can do is submit to the pleasure that you are giving him. Even men like to be ‘taken’ on occasion.

Tip 3: Experiment with lap dances at an exotic club that welcomes couples, before inviting someone else into your sexual relationship.
When : This is for couples that have discussed, or are entertaining the possibility of having a threesome.

How :Take your lover to an exotic dance club. Have a couple of drinks to get warmed up and enjoy the dancers. When you are ready, pick out a dancer and have her give your partner a lap dance. Discuss how you each feel afterwards. Honesty is the key here. Then, if you are both willing, select a dancer to give your lover a lap dance. Chat about how it made you feel to see your partner with someone else. Did it turn you on? Were you mad with jealousy? Was your partner turned on, jealous or simply curious?

Why: This is a great way to find out if having a threesome is going to work in your relationship. It allows you to experience what it feels like to watch your partner with someone else, and vice versa, without actually going through with it and potentially damaging friendships or marriages. I don’t ever recommend threeways with family members. Simply too much emotion to make that work well. The honest communication afterwards is critical. If you were both turned on by what happened then you can feel a lot better about pursuing a threesome. If one or both of you were uncomfortable, then you should reconsider the threesome and remember, fantasies are often best kept in the mind and are wonderful when whispered in the heat of passion into your lover’s ears….

Whether you’re a Betty or a Veronica, enjoy these tips and have some great sex.

Passionately,

Kim Switnicki, ACC
Sex Educator, Author, Speaker and Transformational Sex Coach

Happy New Year – Ready for Great Sex?

Sensual and erotic sex is a powerful enhancement to life. I believe that every adult should experience authentic, honest and real sexual pleasure in whatever way works best for them. As this new year unfolds I invite you to do 3 things to help you create a fantastic and sensual new you in the new year:

1. Consider something different you did last year that helped you feel really super sexy and carry if forward to this year. Even if it was buying a new nightie or tossing a ratty old one. What was one positive and sensual experience that you’d like to bring forward with you into 2010 as a reminder of what can be?
2. What do you challenge yourself to do differently in 2010 to add romance back into your life in an even more significant way than ever before?
3. How can you truly be in service to your lover, while still pleasing your truest self, in a way that you know will make he or she melt in your arms and will be immensely valued as loving, sensual and erotic. Now make plans to go and do it!

Put some conscious attention on your erotic energy and watch yourself grow even more erotic (and confident!) as the year unfolds. Welcome to 2010 and may you go forth in sensual splendor!

Kim Switnicki, ACC
Sex Coach at www.kimswitnicki.com and www.greatsexforhardtimes.com

Wishes for a Sensual Season

It’s that festive time of year where people are rushing around doing last minute preparations, buying last minute cards and gifts and making last minute social plans.

Don’t add your sex life to the last minute list too. I recently manned (or is it personned?) a Salvation Army Christmas Kettle ringing my bells and wishing folks a Merry Christmas as they dropped in their donations. This is a busy time of year for me as well, and though I may grumble a wee bit about how much work there is to be done still, I volunteer a few shifts each year knowing it will make me feel great. And each shift does the trick! Taking a break from my own business and life to help others is a very rewarding experience as I’m sure most of you know. I catch people with eye contact, ringing my bells, dancing a jig or simply by saying hello to get their attention. I love the smiles I can bring to the scowling rushing faces that go by at the grocery store where I like to do my shift. The store has holiday music, I’m under cover in case it rains or snows and I know I’m cheering up the folks who smile back at me, take the time to stop and rummage around in their pockets for change and drop it in the bowl knowing they are helping those less fortunate.

I was thinking about how this applies to our sex lives as well. When life gets harried, we tend to let our romantic attentions drift. Have you ever had sex after a bit of a longish break because you were so busy to discover that WOW – this feels good! Perhaps you thought “We should do this more often because it sure is fun and I feel great right now!” I know I have.

Please take the time this holiday season to snuggle up with someone you care about, plant some kisses whether you see mistletoe or not and remember that sex as an expression of love is one of the most powerful ways to heal – not only for you and your partner, but for the whole world.

Passionately,

Kim Switnicki, ACC

Sex Educator, Speaker, Author, Transformational Sex Coach

www.kimswitnicki.com

Great Sex for Hard Times in 2010

If you want an incredible way to start the New Year – promise yourself you will make your sensual relationship and the pleasure of you and your partner a priority. Go to www.greatsexforhardtimes.com and pre-order your own copy of my new book. You’ll do wonders for your relationship.

Enjoy many Sexy Challenges, lots of cash saver tips, quickie tips and whole chapters on kissing, boosting your sex drive, talking dirty and flirty, some extreme fun, role playing, sex adventures, g-spot, positions, fantasy, toys, what to do with your mouth and so much more. You’ll wake up your sensuality and your partner will think someone new has moved into the bedroom!

BONUS:  As my New Years gift to you, send me your receipt from your online order of Great Sex for Hard Times before Jan 5 and you can start the New Year off with a bang. I will send you a one hour audio answering the top 10 questions I am asked most by women PLUS I’ll send you a special discount code for 15% off your next online order from Lioness. If you have only one sex book, this is the one every couple should have. What a great gift idea too!

Let me know what you think of it after you read it – you won’t be disapointed!

Passionately,

Kim