So do you think you’re more like Betty or like Veronica – in the bedroom? Or is it more like what Jerry Hall (Mick Jagger’s ex) said, “a woman needs to be a cook in the kitchen, and a whore in the bedroom”? Or do you fall somewhere in between, or somewhere else? You may recall the hubbub last summer when Archie, “the world’s oldest [redheaded] teenager” ended up proposing to Veronica. I’m sure you recall the love triangle between him, Betty and Veronica – poor Archie could never decide whom he loved more! So was anyone surprised that Archie would be proposing to Veronica? I was not surprised by this at all. Guys do like the bad girls (and face it ladies we sometimes prefer the bad boys too)! It seems, however, that the world empathizes with the good girl – people were writing letters of encouragement to Betty! This is why it can be beneficial to be a “Betty” to the world, and a “Veronica” in the bedroom.
That all being said, here are some tips from my book, Great Sex For Hard Times on how to be a Veronica in the bedroom.
Tip 1: Shower with your mate
When : Especially great for when the kids are at home, but you are craving some alone time. When you are menstruating.
How : You don’t have to make love in the shower, but washing each other is great foreplay, great for intimacy building and great for private time without the kids. If using silicone lubricant, which doesn’t wash away with water, be extra careful that you don’t slip.
Why: For married couples with children, finding time to spend together can be a challenge. The shower can offer them the chance to be naked and alone together, which will help them maintain their passion and intimacy, while avoiding the need to hire a babysitter. You don’t always have to have intercourse while or after sharing the shower, although not a bad idea, just being able to share that intimate time together will deepen your connection which leads to greater sex. For most women, having their period puts a damper on sexual play so sex in the shower is the perfect answer – no mess!! And even more than that, it creates an extra layer of excitement and enticement, almost making it something to look forward to.
Tip 2: Use a tie as a blindfold to drive your partner wild
When: This is a perfect way to welcome your lover home after a long day at the office.
How: When your lover comes home, take his tie off and wrap it around his head like a blindfold covering his eyes, and tie it snugly. If your lover doesn’t wear a tie, you can be wearing one or a scarf when he comes home, and use this to cover his eyes. With your partner blinded, lean him against a wall or across a couch, and grab his hands and hold them over his head. Now you can start kissing him and exploring his body with your other hand and whisper in his ear seductively “Do you want more of this?” and see where it takes you.
Why : Without his ability to see and to grab you with his hands, his other senses will be enhanced dramatically. His awareness of what you are doing to him with your hands and your tongue will overwhelm him. He will be putty in your hands as all he can do is submit to the pleasure that you are giving him. Even men like to be ‘taken’ on occasion.
Tip 3: Experiment with lap dances at an exotic club that welcomes couples, before inviting someone else into your sexual relationship.
When : This is for couples that have discussed, or are entertaining the possibility of having a threesome.
How :Take your lover to an exotic dance club. Have a couple of drinks to get warmed up and enjoy the dancers. When you are ready, pick out a dancer and have her give your partner a lap dance. Discuss how you each feel afterwards. Honesty is the key here. Then, if you are both willing, select a dancer to give your lover a lap dance. Chat about how it made you feel to see your partner with someone else. Did it turn you on? Were you mad with jealousy? Was your partner turned on, jealous or simply curious?
Why: This is a great way to find out if having a threesome is going to work in your relationship. It allows you to experience what it feels like to watch your partner with someone else, and vice versa, without actually going through with it and potentially damaging friendships or marriages. I don’t ever recommend threeways with family members. Simply too much emotion to make that work well. The honest communication afterwards is critical. If you were both turned on by what happened then you can feel a lot better about pursuing a threesome. If one or both of you were uncomfortable, then you should reconsider the threesome and remember, fantasies are often best kept in the mind and are wonderful when whispered in the heat of passion into your lover’s ears….
Whether you’re a Betty or a Veronica, enjoy these tips and have some great sex.
Kim Switnicki, ACC
Sex Educator, Author, Speaker and Transformational Sex Coach