Archive for the ‘Sexual Health’ Category

Natural Lubricant Q & A

August 23, 2010

Question:

What would you recommend for a personal lubricant that is all natural, but has staying power and a neutral taste? Coconut oil worked great, but I was allergic.  What about almond oil, cocoa butter or shea butter? Island Natural has “Sylk” but I hear it does not last long and it is $$. 

Thanks

Answer:

Thanks very much for your inquiry. If you want an unflavoured lubricant recommend the O’My natural lubricant. You can find it at my online store.

This natural lubricant lasts and has no flavour to speak of. It very closely mimics a woman’s natural lubrication. Coconut oil, if it is virgin, is the only oil I would ever suggest using vaginally. Other oils or butters can create breeding grounds for bacteria and are not advisable. You should only use a water soluble product vaginally and no sugars. If you want to play with natural flavours, my Forplay Succulents line is naturally flavoured and has no sugar or chemicals that shouldn’t be in the vagina. It is great for oral play as well as intercourse and tastes great!

 Let me know how it works out.

 Passionately,

 Kim Switnicki, ACC

Sex Educator for Women, Sex & Intimacy Coach

Breasts for Understanding

July 29, 2010

It was recently reported in Maclean’s Magazine that German scientists have developed an “empathy” nasal spray that will make men more understanding of women.  The main ingredient in this spray is the hormone oxytocin.  This hormone is best known for its role in women’s reproduction and is often referred to as the bonding hormone.  It is released in women during breast feeding and post-orgasm.  The release of this hormone creates a feeling of empathy for those in close proximity when it is released.

While I fully embrace the hope that men would be more empathetic, I am skeptical that this nasal spray would do the trick.  As with pheromones, one would have to bottle a very high quantity of oxytocin in order for it to be effective, which would make this product very expensive.  The man taking this would also need to be in close proximity to the appropriate person (ie. His wife) for it to increase his empathy for her, instead of say the newspaper delivery person, the bus driver, or the clerk at the grocery store.  I like what the German scientists are trying to accomplish, but perhaps it would be easier for men to feel more empathy towards the women in their lives if they just listened to their partners more.  Alternatively, since breast stimulation also releases oxytocin, it may be easier to simply encourage men to play more with our breasts!  Here’s some tips on breast play that might help.

Passionately,

Kim Switnicki, ACC

Sex Educator for Women, Sex & Intimacy Coach

Female Sex Drugs and 5 Tips for Sexual Happiness

July 27, 2010

I was recently an expert guest on Breakfast Television Vancouver to discuss the latest sex drug for women, Flibanserin, which was rejected by the FDA last month. This drug is not approved for use in Canada, and it is my understanding that it is not under consideration at this time. 

If you are concerned about your sexual desire and feel you have a diminished libido, you need to check out my interview on Breakfast Television Vancouver.

For natural solutions to boost your sex drive watch my 5 Tips for Sexual Happiness.

It is important that women recognize that the desire they have may be perfectly natural or normal for them in their specific situation. We tend to buy into media-generated myths (can you think of a few?) , which set us up to feel inadequate – but there is no “proper” or “right” amount of sex drive. This is a really critical point to remember, if nothing else! There are many factors affecting your libido, which is the urge, desire or drive to be intimate: things such as stress about kids, career, money, moving, health or simply being too tired, other health issues, medications, relationship challenges, and many more factors can all contribute to a lower than (your) usual desire for sex. See the video link above to find out more.

How much do you know about your wants, likes, dislikes and desires about sex? How many of you feel comfortable with the things, ideas, or situations that really stoke your desire? We are often filled with fear, shame or embarassment which we have inherited over generations. I can help you release all of that negativity so you can fully accept and embrace your true sexuality. Most women have not had the opportunity to learn about their sexuality. Unfortunately, our moms, sisters, aunts and teachers just don’t explain to us how sexual pleasure works! As a result we are unable to fully experience our deepest sexual nature. This is why I created my online program for married women. This program, called Unlock Your Sexual Code, helps women uncover their own secret combination of factors unique to them allowing them to  unlock their own passions, systematically and permanently end their insecurity and shame, and fully commit themselves to learning how to have powerful and authentic sexual experiences THEIR WAY FIRST, before sharing them with their husbands. For more information on this program, and to attend a free preview call for a taste of what you can have and start closing the gap in your bed, please go here to sign up for the free call. 

Passionately,

Kim Switnicki, ACC

Sex Educator for Women, Sex & Intimacy Coach

www.kimswitnicki.com

South Africa’s World Cup and Sexual Crisis

July 15, 2010

The following was written by my assistant, Lindsey Lewthwaite, after I had asked her to do some research for me about a unique, new female condom. She threw herself into the task and created this piece and I’m proud to share it with you.

As the World Cup ends, I am amazed at how this sporting event has brought people together from all over the globe to watch, marvel at, and celebrate our greatest athletes. South Africa took center stage as the host of this event, and while we can all thank them for putting on this show, we shouldn’t turn our gaze away just yet. With any big government expenditure, such as those of South Africa’s for the World Cup, there are those who believe the money could be better spent elsewhere. I live in British Columbia Canada, and during the years leading up to the 2010 Winter Olympic Games there was controversy over spending dollars on the games instead of on issues such as homelessness. Likewise, the South African government has been criticized for spending so much on stadiums for the World Cup while some feel they haven’t spent nearly enough combating HIV/AIDS.

 In the months prior to the World Cup, the South African government was asking the world for 1 billion condoms in order to prepare for the influx of tourists and of prostitutes that huge sporting events draw. South Africa is suffering from an HIV/AIDS epidemic; they have the highest HIV caseload in the world. There are 5.7 million South Africans living with HIV (that’s about 1 in 5 adults or 18% of the population). Every day there are 1,400 new infections and almost 1,000 deaths from AIDS. The number of cases is “disproportionately concentrated among women and girls”. Sexual violence is rampant, and there is a lack of female control and agency over their own bodies due to the extreme poverty and the cultural histories of violence and patriarchy.  The women of South Africa do not enjoy the sexual empowerment and right of equality that most western women enjoy.

HIV treatment, especially for pregnant women and children (28% of babies born are exposed to the virus by their mothers), is a huge political issue in South Africa. The request for 1 billion condoms is believed to be as much a part of a new South African HIV prevention drive, as it is to protect tourists. The government committed to increase the number of hospitals and clinics that dispense AIDS medicine for free, and has trained hundreds of nurses to prescribe the drugs. While the government has increased treatment for victims, they have been lagging in the necessary education and prevention.

Management of this issue has been problematic with critics accusing the “South African leadership of undermining the fight with denialism and hypocrisy”. During the rape trial of South African President, and former head of the National AIDS Council, Jacob Zuma admitted that he didn’t use a condom, even though he knew the woman was HIV positive, but that he took a shower afterward to “cut the risk of contracting HIV”.  More education is obviously necessary. 

Rates of sexual assault in South Africa are among the highest in the world, and children are most at risk (40% of reported cases are committed against children). Rape is especially dangerous for women and children because the internal tears suffered in such an attack make the victim more susceptible to contracting the virus from an infected attacker.

The female condom gives power to the women. It is “the only woman initiated tool that has been proven to be effective in the prevention of HIV, STIDs, and unplanned pregnancy”.  It is promoted by groups in South Africa, but is very hard for women to access; availability is minimal. The South African National Strategic Plan (2007-2011) contained provisions for the purchase of 425 million male condoms, and for only 3 million female condoms. In June, the Female Health Company announced that it had fulfilled an order for 3.5 million female condoms for the World Cup. Great Britain sent South Africa 42 million condoms, but I don’t know if these were male or female.

With women being much more commonly the victims of HIV/AIDS, and with the political and cultural leadership of men like Zuma, I find it disappointing that female condoms are not as readily available as male condoms. 

In response to the sexual violence against women, a South African woman has invented a new kind of female condom, and planned to distribute 30,000 during the World Cup. This condom, called the Rape-aXe, offers barbed protection against rape. When a woman wearing this condom is penetrated, sharp barbs hook into the penis. These barbs need to be surgically removed, which will identify the man as a rapist to medical professionals. You can imagine the appeal of this type of defense.  The inventor said that she was inspired by a rape victim who said to her “If only I had teeth down there”.

The spotlight of the world was shining on South Africa, and we should take this opportunity to reflect on the sexual realities of South Africans. Perhaps the World Cup will be a platform for the global community to come together, not just on the soccer pitch, but to help South Africa recover from this epidemic. FIFA believes that “there will be an increased effort to fight against AIDS and HIV in South Africa both medically and socially after the World Cup”. With all the millions of dollars that have been put into this event, and all the millions that are being made, I can only hope that somehow some way, through this global event, help will be supplied to the women and children of South Africa. As they have been saying on TV, “The world came to know South Africa, and we are all better for it”, likewise I hope that the women and children of South Africa will somehow be better for it as well.

Passionately,

Kim Switnicki, ACC

Sex Educator for Women, Sex & Intimacy Coach

www.kimswitnicki.com

Glow Magazine Asks Kim Switnicki: How Can Women Deal With Underwhelming Sex?

June 10, 2010

In the Summer 2010 edition of Glow Magazine (found at Shoppers Drug Mart in Canada), Lesley Young explores how women react to underwhelming sex, and gets strategies from sex experts (including myself) on how to make it better.

According to the Durex Sexual Wellbeing Global Survey, 44% of women are not satisfied with their sex lives!  Do we just grin and fake it, or do we take responsibility and control?  Well apparently we are doing more of the former, while we should be doing a lot more of the latter. 

How comfortable are we with taking control and asking for what we want?  As important as this is for our intimate relationships, many women aren’t comfortable doing that, and would prefer to continue hoping that her partner will be able “read our minds instead of talking about what we like or need”.    Sex and asking for what we want isn’t always easy, but there are strategies that you can use to make it easier for yourself.  For instance using a ‘Hot Spot Diagram’ I explained in the article is a great way for both you and your partner to learn something new about each other, no matter how well you think you already know one another.

But how well to do we truly know our own sexual selves?  How familiar are we really with what we like or need?  If 44% of us aren’t happy with our sex lives, do we really know what we want?  If we don’t know what we want, we won’t be able to help our partners or improve our sex lives.  Sexuality, and even more specifically female sexuality, has historically been something that is not discussed freely, nor learned about openly.  Female sexuality is quite commonly swept under the rug, and we are not given the opportunity or the guidance to really get to know our sexual truths, what works for us, what doesn’t, and how to communicate this to our partners.  More often than not, women end up holding onto the shame, insecurity, and conflicted feelings towards sex inherited from so many generations of women before us.  And unfortunately this shame, insecurity, conflicted feelings, and this massive lack of education and openness are still being passed down to our daughters.

I am a Sex Educator and a Sex & Intimacy Coach, so it isn’t any surprise that I believe that sex education is so vitally important; especially for women because we are the ones that set the tone for true intimacy.  Women do have the power to transform their sex lives.  I have seen this happen for so many of my clients, and both the women and their partners are thrilled to be a part of this transformation.  Because I feel so passionately that every woman deserves to have powerful and authentic sexual experiences HER WAY, I have dedicated my life to providing women the opportunity and the guidance to really explore her own sexuality, and to Unlock Her Own Sexual Code.  Whether she has unlocked it yet or not, every woman has a Sexual Code unique to her.  Your Sexual Code is the combination of factors that unlocks your authentic passion and confidence so you bring honest sex into your marriage and create lasting devotion.  Once you Unlock Your Code, you can start asking for what you want in the bedroom, and start getting the satisfaction you deserve from your sex life.

If you are ready to start finding out what you want and what you need, please join me in my free-tele-class entitled Stop Having Sex You Don’t Want to Have.  For more information please visit:  www.Iwillstopbadsex.com

Passionately,

Kim Switnicki, ACC

Sex Educator for Women, Sex & Intimacy Coach

www.kimswitnicki.com

Switnicki’s solid closing remarks to Chatelaine’s Special Report: The New Sex Drugs, Can You Find Passion in a Pill?

June 3, 2010

I was recently invited to comment for an article in Chatelaine Magazine.  Women often complain about low sex drive, and with the successes of Viagra, Cialis, and Levitra, the search is on for the female equivalent.  This writer wanted to know what I, as a sex expert and coach who has worked with thousands of women, thought about the search for the magic pill that will boost women’s sexual desire.  I am not a fan of drugs, (which I rediscovered during my recent recovery from shoulder surgery), and I know that a woman’s sexuality is a lot more complex than just getting blood flow to the right area or “lighting up” certain areas of her brain.  Quite frankly I don’t want anyone playing in my brain but me if I can help it.

The article is in the June edition of Chatelaine Magazine, which just hit store shelves.  In it, they discuss two of the latest big pharma attempts to magically fix a woman’s low sex drive.  The first is a testosterone gel that is rubbed onto a woman’s arm.  The hormone testosterone is often implicated in diminished sexual desire in women.  The female body naturally decreases production of this hormone throughout adult life, reaching diminished levels by menopause.  So the thinking is rub in some extra testosterone, and there you go, your desire will be increased.  This may work for some women who have medically diagnosed lower levels of testosterone than they should.  But there are dangers in taking hormones not naturally produced by our bodies; specifically too much testosterone can lead to heart and liver disease, growing hair where you don’t want it, and aggression.  We are not men, nor do they want us to be in bed.

The second is a pink pill that was originally created to be an antidepressant (which is strange considering that antidepressants often diminish sexual desire) and works on the chemicals in the brain, the first non-hormonal attempt to boost female desire.  This pill had some serious side effects for 15% of the study group; bad enough for them to drop right out.  The side effects were dizziness, fatigue, dry mouth and insomnia.

I am concerned that interest in medical interventions to increase female sexual desire will lead more women to believe that they have a medical or physical dysfunction.  This may be good for drug companies, but is definitely not good for women.  There are so many reasons why a woman does not feel as much sexual desire as she would like, or that she thinks she should.  Like I said in the article, having this intense pressure to want more sex is not going to help a woman actually want to have sex; in fact the pressure will lower her libido.  Of course we are all very busy with our lives, and sex might not always be on the top of our to-do lists, but this does not mean that you have a medical or sexual dysfunction.  There is no magic pill for sexual desire, just as there is no magic pill to lose weight, or to become rich.  If you want to feel sexual, or if you want to lose weight, or become rich, you have to make a commitment to yourself and you have to really work on changing your habits, your mindset and certain aspects of your lifestyle that no longer serve your new goal.  Professional support is also crucial for any kind of major lifestyle change, so using a trainer, coach, taking a class, or even reading a book can lead  you on your path to reach your sexual potential (or to lose weight or to improve your wealth).

As one expert, Debby Herbenick of the Center for Sexual Health Promotion at Indiana University believes, North American culture must do more to promote sex education, sex coaching, and intimacy techniques.  As a professional Sex & Intimacy Coach I concur 100%.

In the article, Sue McGarvie a Sex Therapist promotes doing your Kegel exercises, watching your diet, including eating good quality dark chocolate, and having a check-up by your doctor.  These are all things I recommend, if you want more advice on this you can go here to find out more about Ben Wa balls and Kegel exercises, and here to read about my D.R.E.A.M Program – which is my magic pill.  This many experts can’t be wrong.

A lot of the problems women have stem from a lack of time to be creative (we’re damn tired), which is why my book Great Sex for Hard Times is so relevant for today’s women.  Pick up a copy, and call me in the morning.

Passionately,

Kim Switnicki, ACC

Sex Educator for Women, Sex & Intimacy Coach

www.kimswitnicki.com

Laughter & Sex

April 5, 2010

On a funny note, “what do sex and laughter have in common?” Turns out they are equal in many things! Both release hormones that help us to relax, boost the immune system, and help to alleviate pain. What better way is there to stay healthy and happy than by having a partner who makes you laugh AND helps you burn a few calories in the bedroom? A few being about 150-200 calories during a passionate love making session! For more information on the benefits of sex and laughter check out this article.

Passionately,

Kim Switnicki, ACC
Sex Educator, Author, Speaker and Transformational Sex Coach

Illness and Intimacy

March 29, 2010

On Tuesday, April 6th, Kim will be sharing some of her thoughts and ideas in relation to prostate cancer and how to include intimacy back into your life in a presentation called “Illness & Intimacy” with the Qualicum Beach/Parksville/Oceanside Prostate Cancer Support Group.

This group is an active prostate cancer support group that serves the entire Oceanside area.  It is ideal for newly diagnosed and post treatment men & their family members.  Everyone is welcome.

Join us to share experiences, thoughts, acquire current information, or just sit back and listen.

Meetings are held the first Tuesday of every month.
7:00 pm at “The Gardens”
650 Berwick North, Qualicum Beach

RSVP and questions: Contact Court Brooker at (250) 752-7489 or courtbrooker@shaw.ca.

Passionately,

Kim Switnicki, ACC
Sex Educator, Author, Speaker and Transformational Sex Coach

Not Having Sex is Good for You

August 20, 2009

A lot of us feel compelled by the media etc. to have sex, sex and more sex because it’s so good for you.  I too speak of how great sex is for you and how it can improve your life.  However, the other end of the spectrum is not addressed often enough.  Listen in as Pam Edgar, host of Living for the Health Of It, chats with me about the idea of not having sex and how that too can actually be healthier for some people than having pressure and guilt added to the mix.  Pick up some tips on how to have open chats with your partner when you have stress, small kids, health issues or other cases where sex isn’t a priority or a good option for you at the time.  We also discuss how to regain sexual relationships after serious health issues where one party has been the care-giver.  It really is all about choice and free will and really trying to find your own Sexual Truth and honouring it.

Click here to listen.

The Gardasil Vaccine and Sexual Health

May 14, 2009

An article caught my attention recently.  You may have seen the commercials for the Gardasil Vaccine lately.  Educating the public about the HPV virus is terrific, however there are some things the commercial doesn’t mention.  You should  make an informed decision about whether or not to pursue this route to achieve sexual health. I’ve included a link to the article and a few points from it below.

In today’s society, we want a quick fix for everything and the drug companies would have you believe that the Gardasil Vaccine will fulfill this for us. Since most of us probably have been exposed to HPV and very few will actually die as a result, I’d rather see them spend the millions and millions of dollars towards educating our youth on healthy sexual practices, self exams and PAP smears instead of injecting them.

So, what exactly is HPV?

The article by Brenda Eastwood, RNCP, shares this:
“HPV is a very common family of viruses found in both males and females.  The virus is found in and around the genitals. It is most often passed between two people through sexual activity, but this can also happen through other close skin to skin contact. About 3 out of every 4 people – males and females – who have had sex have been exposed to HPV… Only two of the 100 types of HPV can develop into cancer.  Other HPV types can cause ordinary and genital warts, but rarely cause cancer.”

What you won’t see “advertised” on the commercials is that only 1% of those infected will actually develop cervical cancer.  And, if caught early enough through regular pap smears, it can be successfully treated.  There are also several side effects that are not readily noted.  That’s why I encourage the education of young girls about their sexual practices and PAP smears, instead of immediately succumbing to the call of the commercials.

Brenda Eastwood, RNCP, is a Women’s Health Specialist with more than 25 years experience working with thousands of women.  Her goal, like mine, is to empower women with information.

A copy of her article regarding the HPV vaccine can be found here but you need to scrool way down below her current newsletter:
http://www.brendaeastwood.com/mr-events.taf?_UserReference=858FFD1F208941044A0CAF40Passionately,

Kim Switnicki, ACC, ECPC
Sex Educator, Speaker, Intimacy Coach

Author of “G-Spot PlayGuide: 7 Simple Steps to G-Spot Heaven!”
Pick up your Free Report on Top 10 Ways to be a Sexier, more Confidant Woman
www.lionessforlovers.com/pages/sign-up-for-sexy-ezine.htm


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