In the Summer 2010 edition of Glow Magazine (found at Shoppers Drug Mart in Canada), Lesley Young explores how women react to underwhelming sex, and gets strategies from sex experts (including myself) on how to make it better.
According to the Durex Sexual Wellbeing Global Survey, 44% of women are not satisfied with their sex lives! Do we just grin and fake it, or do we take responsibility and control? Well apparently we are doing more of the former, while we should be doing a lot more of the latter.
How comfortable are we with taking control and asking for what we want? As important as this is for our intimate relationships, many women aren’t comfortable doing that, and would prefer to continue hoping that her partner will be able “read our minds instead of talking about what we like or need”. Sex and asking for what we want isn’t always easy, but there are strategies that you can use to make it easier for yourself. For instance using a ‘Hot Spot Diagram’ I explained in the article is a great way for both you and your partner to learn something new about each other, no matter how well you think you already know one another.
But how well to do we truly know our own sexual selves? How familiar are we really with what we like or need? If 44% of us aren’t happy with our sex lives, do we really know what we want? If we don’t know what we want, we won’t be able to help our partners or improve our sex lives. Sexuality, and even more specifically female sexuality, has historically been something that is not discussed freely, nor learned about openly. Female sexuality is quite commonly swept under the rug, and we are not given the opportunity or the guidance to really get to know our sexual truths, what works for us, what doesn’t, and how to communicate this to our partners. More often than not, women end up holding onto the shame, insecurity, and conflicted feelings towards sex inherited from so many generations of women before us. And unfortunately this shame, insecurity, conflicted feelings, and this massive lack of education and openness are still being passed down to our daughters.
I am a Sex Educator and a Sex & Intimacy Coach, so it isn’t any surprise that I believe that sex education is so vitally important; especially for women because we are the ones that set the tone for true intimacy. Women do have the power to transform their sex lives. I have seen this happen for so many of my clients, and both the women and their partners are thrilled to be a part of this transformation. Because I feel so passionately that every woman deserves to have powerful and authentic sexual experiences HER WAY, I have dedicated my life to providing women the opportunity and the guidance to really explore her own sexuality, and to Unlock Her Own Sexual Code. Whether she has unlocked it yet or not, every woman has a Sexual Code unique to her. Your Sexual Code is the combination of factors that unlocks your authentic passion and confidence so you bring honest sex into your marriage and create lasting devotion. Once you Unlock Your Code, you can start asking for what you want in the bedroom, and start getting the satisfaction you deserve from your sex life.
If you are ready to start finding out what you want and what you need, please join me in my free-tele-class entitled Stop Having Sex You Don’t Want to Have. For more information please visit: www.Iwillstopbadsex.com
Kim Switnicki, ACC
Sex Educator for Women, Sex & Intimacy Coach