As women, we are incredible. In most areas of life we’re competent, capable, can multi-task like crazy and manage to take care of our businesses all while raising a family! Yet, when it comes to the bedroom, many of us (yes, even me) become unsure, timid and a little withdrawn. We become frustrated when our partners can’t “make” us orgasm. Don’t you want to share your true desires and have your sweetie do exactly what you crave to reach that sometimes elusive sexual peak? The big question is how?
Unfortunately, we grow up not feeling “allowed” to say what’s on our mind much less feeling good about how to ask for what we want in bed!
Studies show more than 2/3 of women have at some point faked their own orgasm AND given that the most important part of love-making for men is their partner’s satisfaction, this is a tragedy! A recent survey by a Canadian magazine, Chatelaine, noted that 25% of Canadian women **regularly** fake their orgasm! So maybe tonight (or any night actually) do both of you a favour and have a truly satisfying encounter.
One way to begin is to choose a sexual position where you have your hand between your legs to masturbate yourself while making love. Take charge of your own orgasm, ladies! Alternatively, you can always use a vibrator so your forearms don’t get tired. Developing comfort with your body in front of your honey goes a long way towards helping them learn more about what turns you on.
Another tip to improve your sensual pleasure is to stay warm or ask for a foot rub. Do you like to make love when you’re cold? Being warm and having your feet massaged helps shut down the amygdala (which controls fear and anxiety) in the female brain. This assists your own arousability which is necessary for orgasm. Studies have shown that when the amygdala is engaged, you can’t get turned on, so shut it down by relaxing and not worrying about anything – not your kids, homework, shopping, renovation, banking, soccer games, dentist appointments, etc…)
Thanks to my friend, Beth Yim, for turning me on to the book, The Female Brain now available on our website under Products and Sensual Books from Amazon.
The old adage “use it or lose it” is just as true for the clitoris as it is for the mind. The sole purpose of the clitoris is sexual pleasure. If you are celibate or just don’t bother to get (or receive) any clitoral stimulation, your body will, over time, forget how to orgasm. This is a scary thought! So if you don’t have someone else playing with you tonight – play with yourself!
For those of you who who already enjoy the pleasures of a guaranteed orgasm every time (by doing it yourself), please send me a note about your favourite position for achieving sexual success. I’d love to pass along your ideas.