What is Sex & Intimacy Coaching and what can it do for YOU?

Let’s face it – unsatisfying sex sucks! As a Sex & Intimacy Coach, I can turn your sex life around and help you have a juicy intimate, loving marriage that lasts. Coaching offers a completely confidential way for you to experience great sex, improve your relationship AND have a more fulfilling life.

Do you want a better and more exciting sex life?

Do you want real concrete ways to add passion back into your love life?

Do you want to have satisfying sex like you’ve never had before?

Studies show that up to 50% of us are dissatisfied, unfulfilled, and
frustrated in the bedroom. You may be:

- in a new relationship and want the sex to be as great as possible
- single and not wanting to repeat past sexual blunders
- in a long term relationship and in a sexual rut
- desperate for change in the bedroom!

If you want ideas, tools, and a plan to get the gratifying and exciting sex life you truly desire, then sex coaching is your solution.

What it isn’t

First I should explain that I am NOT on the edge of your bed with a whistle saying

“Go right, a little to the left, add more lube!”

And while our work together is primarily by phone, I won’t be on the phone listening through the speaker while you make love and offering support, tips or advice. And lastly, I don’t watch videos of your sex life to offer kudos or suggestions for improvement.

We Begin – where are you at right now?

So now that we have that out of the way (smile), what exactly do I do? Well, we start by chatting on the phone about what is happening for/with/to you in your sex life. This may be things such as:

• We’re in a sexual rut and need to spice things up
• My husband/boyfriend doesn’t know how to please me
• He wants sex more/less than I do
• He wants oral sex and I don’t want to (or am unsure how to) do it
• He can’t get it up and that frustrates us both
• I’ve lost my interest in sex and want to get my sex drive back
• I have some things ‘blocking’ me from receiving pleasure
• I can’t reach orgasm (ever, with my partner, only when alone, only during oral sex, etc.)
• My mind wanders and I don’t know how to stay focused in bed
• I’m not sexually confident
• My husband (or I) had an affair and it’s wrecking our sex life

This is just a partial list of the concerns my clients come to me for help with.

Then – what do you want?

Then we look at what it is that you would rather have AND if it is reasonable for you. “A new lover who knows how to please me without me even telling him” is not realistic! However, “I want to feel more uninhibited and confident in bed and easily ask for what I want” is totally doable!

Some comments and thoughts my clients have shared with me about their results from coaching:

• “We now have an exciting sex life!”
• “I now look forward to sex”
• “We talk about sex now and I feel so much more open and relaxed about it”
• “I’ve even initiated lovemaking for the first time ever”
• “I can now more easily let my lover know what I want without embarrassment”
• “We are much more in tune with each other’s sex drive”
• “We are both okay now with me not performing oral sex”
• “I now perform oral sex and am even starting to enjoy it!”
• “ I feel more confident when I go out to meet men (and don’t have to sleep with them to feel sexy)”
• “I can now be totally present in bed and if my mind wanders, I can easily bring it back – it’s fantastic how easy it is now!”
• “I think about sex much more often and my hubby loves the benefits!”
• “I have more orgasms”
• “I’m free to have so much more fun now that I don’t have to have an orgasm when we make love (ever or anytime)”

Next – the Plan

Next we create a plan specifically tailored for you in your situation to help you achieve all of your wants and desires for your love life! In each coaching session you will hang up the phone with concrete action steps designed by you (with my support) to help you on your path towards mind blowing sex with a man you love!

How I support you

I am there for you to help you stay on track not only during our sessions, but with the overall plan and I’ll even help you via email in between sessions if you need it. I offer support and help you be accountable for what you say you want and are willing to do to change things.

I don’t do the work for you. If you are the sort of person who is looking for someone to blame (my parents had such a lousy relationship – no wonder mine is horrible), then coaching is not for you. If you want someone to tell you what to do, then coaching is not for you. I am NOT the expert on your sex life – YOU are! I am there as a trained guide to support you, ask you the right questions, keep you accountable (did you write that letter to your lover that you said you would?) and honour you so you find the exact and perfect answer for you in your situation and for your life.

If you believe that your sex life should be like ‘they’ say it should be (magazines, movies, friends, relatives, media) then coaching is not right for you. I will help you discover your own Sexual Truth so that you can have the intimate relationship that fits perfectly for you.

How long do I need coaching?

How long does all of this take? It depends on you, your situation and how long the concern has been in your life.

Often it only takes a few sessions to get you back on track and on your way to communicating with your partner again. Often my clients will start with a 3 session package and then convert it to a monthly program once they see the immediate results and they discover there are other areas they want to look at in their relationship. If it is something that has bothered you for twenty years, it may take more than 3 or 4 sessions to move you to a place where it only occasionally pops up; perhaps a bit longer to be completely free of it – and you can be!

Other times people simply come back for ‘tune-ups’ of a session or two every so often throughout the year to keep things moving in the direction they want.

It really is up to you and what you want for yourself and your relationship. 

Bonus – Fun Sex Ed.

As a sex expert I am often called on to lead workshops, speak to groups or to offer private instruction on how to perform specific sexual acts (such as oral sex, masturbation or finding the g-spot), how to craft lovemaking so it is easier or more comfortable (due to medical concerns) or other specific sexual skills. You may want to add this as a bonus to your coaching package or simply sign up for a fun sex ed. class offered online or live or have a private session for yourself. Women often feel that private sessions help them to be more comfortable and the one on one attention helps them accomplish their goals quite quickly!

Either way, you can find solutions for your sexual concerns so you can be better in bed, do better in your relationship, and have a much more exciting life!

I mean really – what is your happiness and satisfaction worth to you?

Please call for more information at 250-753-8692 or email kim@kimswitnicki.com and we’ll see what options are best for you.

Help, My Vibrator Makes Me Giggle

Question:

I am 51 years old and never used a vibrator before.  My boyfriend suggested one so I thought sure why not.  We also bought some KY intense and used it with the vibrator. My question is that though it feels amazing I laugh or rather giggle.  Is this normal, natural? Please answer.  This isn’t something I can ask just anyone!

Thanks.

Answer:

Thanks so much for your inquiry. Good for you for taking a chance and trying something new! The first part of my answer is yes, it absolutely is normal. When we try something new, there are lots of emotions around it. Especially since you may have been a bit nervous or curious or cautious or any of another dozen or so emotions, none of which is overly arousing :-) Not that you weren’t turned on as well, but the arousal part may not have been the strongest emotion that you felt at the time. Some women also find vibrators tickle them or they don’t even like the sensation. It really varies woman to woman and mood to mood. Sometimes it may drive you wild with delight and others you just may not be in the mood for it.

If this is something you want to continue using during lovemaking, I recommend you try using it by yourself some time to get more used to the feeling and see if it is something you can or even want to let turn you on more. It really is a personal choice where you go from here. If I can be of further help, as a Coach I can offer suggestions for using it or to help you through any concerns you have with the vibrator or even to help you explain to your man that you don’t want to use it anymore.  

In the meantime, here is some more information on how to get used to a vibrator:    

 Above all else, enjoy yourself!

PS: I’m not a fan of the KY combo massage and lubricant products. You should NEVER have massage oils inside the vagina since it messes with your natural Ph level and it can create a breeding ground for bacteria leading to infections. A natural, water soluble lubricant is best! This one is my favourites.   

Passionately,

Kim Switnicki, ACC
Sex Educator for Women, Sex & Intimacy Coach

www.KimSwitnicki.com

Switnicki’s solid closing remarks to Chatelaine’s Special Report: The New Sex Drugs, Can You Find Passion in a Pill?

I was recently invited to comment for an article in Chatelaine Magazine.  Women often complain about low sex drive, and with the successes of Viagra, Cialis, and Levitra, the search is on for the female equivalent.  This writer wanted to know what I, as a sex expert and coach who has worked with thousands of women, thought about the search for the magic pill that will boost women’s sexual desire.  I am not a fan of drugs, (which I rediscovered during my recent recovery from shoulder surgery), and I know that a woman’s sexuality is a lot more complex than just getting blood flow to the right area or “lighting up” certain areas of her brain.  Quite frankly I don’t want anyone playing in my brain but me if I can help it.

The article is in the June edition of Chatelaine Magazine, which just hit store shelves.  In it, they discuss two of the latest big pharma attempts to magically fix a woman’s low sex drive.  The first is a testosterone gel that is rubbed onto a woman’s arm.  The hormone testosterone is often implicated in diminished sexual desire in women.  The female body naturally decreases production of this hormone throughout adult life, reaching diminished levels by menopause.  So the thinking is rub in some extra testosterone, and there you go, your desire will be increased.  This may work for some women who have medically diagnosed lower levels of testosterone than they should.  But there are dangers in taking hormones not naturally produced by our bodies; specifically too much testosterone can lead to heart and liver disease, growing hair where you don’t want it, and aggression.  We are not men, nor do they want us to be in bed.

The second is a pink pill that was originally created to be an antidepressant (which is strange considering that antidepressants often diminish sexual desire) and works on the chemicals in the brain, the first non-hormonal attempt to boost female desire.  This pill had some serious side effects for 15% of the study group; bad enough for them to drop right out.  The side effects were dizziness, fatigue, dry mouth and insomnia.

I am concerned that interest in medical interventions to increase female sexual desire will lead more women to believe that they have a medical or physical dysfunction.  This may be good for drug companies, but is definitely not good for women.  There are so many reasons why a woman does not feel as much sexual desire as she would like, or that she thinks she should.  Like I said in the article, having this intense pressure to want more sex is not going to help a woman actually want to have sex; in fact the pressure will lower her libido.  Of course we are all very busy with our lives, and sex might not always be on the top of our to-do lists, but this does not mean that you have a medical or sexual dysfunction.  There is no magic pill for sexual desire, just as there is no magic pill to lose weight, or to become rich.  If you want to feel sexual, or if you want to lose weight, or become rich, you have to make a commitment to yourself and you have to really work on changing your habits, your mindset and certain aspects of your lifestyle that no longer serve your new goal.  Professional support is also crucial for any kind of major lifestyle change, so using a trainer, coach, taking a class, or even reading a book can lead  you on your path to reach your sexual potential (or to lose weight or to improve your wealth).

As one expert, Debby Herbenick of the Center for Sexual Health Promotion at Indiana University believes, North American culture must do more to promote sex education, sex coaching, and intimacy techniques.  As a professional Sex & Intimacy Coach I concur 100%.

In the article, Sue McGarvie a Sex Therapist promotes doing your Kegel exercises, watching your diet, including eating good quality dark chocolate, and having a check-up by your doctor.  These are all things I recommend, if you want more advice on this you can go here to find out more about Ben Wa balls and Kegel exercises, and here to read about my D.R.E.A.M Program – which is my magic pill.  This many experts can’t be wrong.

A lot of the problems women have stem from a lack of time to be creative (we’re damn tired), which is why my book Great Sex for Hard Times is so relevant for today’s women.  Pick up a copy, and call me in the morning.

Passionately,

Kim Switnicki, ACC

Sex Educator for Women, Sex & Intimacy Coach

www.kimswitnicki.com