Sexy Valentine’s Day Movie

I know it’s after Valentine’s Day, but if you subscribed to my newsletter (sign up on the home page at www.lionessforlovers.com) you would have received this in time to heat things up for that sassy lover’s holiday.

According to the website fandango.com the perfect Valentine’s Day film, according to WOMEN, is 2004’s The Notebook with Rachel McAdams and Ryan Gosling whose on/off romantic yearning spans a lifetime. For MEN, it was 1997’s Titanic where our romantic leads find hot, passionate love on an ill-fated marine catastrophe. Other notable mentions by both sexes were Sleepless in Seattle, Casablanca, Ghost, Pretty Woman, and A Walk to Remember.

This reminded me of the many hot and steamy encounters I’ve had while watching a romantic movie. I became inspired and offer you this sizzling idea to re-live the drive-in (for those who remember them!) or perhaps create a new experience of the movie date. Either way, prepare for an evening of romance and possibly some hot sex too!

Step 1:
Pick out a movie you know will get your inner lioness purring.
Step 2:
Select a time when you know you will both have 3 hours or so of uninterrupted time at home alone. You can always swap babysitting duties with another couple so you both win!
Step 3:
Shower or bathe and dress sensually for the evening. Add soft make-up or accessories. Even just pin up your hair or leave it down – just something different to show him you really want to make the evening special and he’s worth the time and effort.
Step 4:
Dim the lights or have candles burning to set the mood.
Step 5:
Have a big cosy blanket you can wrap yourselves in and snuggle under.
Step 6:
Start by rubbing each others feet. You can take turns so you get the full benefit of relaxation. Remember from last month, one way to your orgasm is through shutting down your amygdala with a foot rub!
Step 7:
Have nibbles you can feed each other such as grapes or popcorn. Make natchos and lick each others fingers or pick up a BBQ chicken at the market with no utensils allowed! You get the idea…
Step 8:
Flirt with him by giving him knowing looks, play with his hair or ears, put your arm around HIM for a change and make sure you are always touching part of him. Snuggle in close and whisper how he makes you feel!
Step 9:
Rub his thighs in a slow, sexy way throughout the whole movie – see how close you can get to his penis without actually touching it. Make his pants get tighter!
Step 10:
Whenever you see something in the movie that reminds you of him and how romantic or sexy he is, tell him and maybe squeeze his arm or give him a long, wet kiss to prove it.

Remember making love is like dancing – I can give you the steps, but to get the most from it, add your own style to truly make it work for you!

Sexy Tips for Romantic Evening

As women, we are incredible. In most areas of life we’re competent, capable, can multi-task like crazy and manage to take care of our businesses all while raising a family! Yet, when it comes to the bedroom, many of us (yes, even me) become unsure, timid and a little withdrawn. We become frustrated when our partners can’t “make” us orgasm. Don’t you want to share your true desires and have your sweetie do exactly what you crave to reach that sometimes elusive sexual peak? The big question is how?

Unfortunately, we grow up not feeling “allowed” to say what’s on our mind much less feeling good about how to ask for what we want in bed!

Studies show more than 2/3 of women have at some point faked their own orgasm AND given that the most important part of love-making for men is their partner’s satisfaction, this is a tragedy! A recent survey by a Canadian magazine, Chatelaine, noted that 25% of Canadian women **regularly** fake their orgasm! So maybe tonight (or any night actually) do both of you a favour and have a truly satisfying encounter.

One way to begin is to choose a sexual position where you have your hand between your legs to masturbate yourself while making love. Take charge of your own orgasm, ladies! Alternatively, you can always use a vibrator so your forearms don’t get tired. Developing comfort with your body in front of your honey goes a long way towards helping them learn more about what turns you on.

Another tip to improve your sensual pleasure is to stay warm or ask for a foot rub. Do you like to make love when you’re cold? Being warm and having your feet massaged helps shut down the amygdala (which controls fear and anxiety) in the female brain. This assists your own arousability which is necessary for orgasm. Studies have shown that when the amygdala is engaged, you can’t get turned on, so shut it down by relaxing and not worrying about anything – not your kids, homework, shopping, renovation, banking, soccer games, dentist appointments, etc…)

Thanks to my friend, Beth Yim, for turning me on to the book, The Female Brain now available on our website under Products and Sensual Books from Amazon.

The old adage “use it or lose it” is just as true for the clitoris as it is for the mind. The sole purpose of the clitoris is sexual pleasure. If you are celibate or just don’t bother to get (or receive) any clitoral stimulation, your body will, over time, forget how to orgasm. This is a scary thought! So if you don’t have someone else playing with you tonight – play with yourself!

For those of you who who already enjoy the pleasures of a guaranteed orgasm every time (by doing it yourself), please send me a note about your favourite position for achieving sexual success. I’d love to pass along your ideas.

Lioness for Lovers 100 Night Sexy Challenge

This is a contest to help you rev up your love-life and get a head start on hot summer romance! The contest runs from now until May 24 (which is the kick-off to summer in my part of the world).

Each month I’ll offer you my Sensual Suggestion. For the contest, all you do is ACT ON IT and email me when you complete the Sensual Suggestion!

There will be a grand prize winner from all who email me each month after they complete that month’s sexy challenge. Check out more at www.lionessforlovers.com in the box under my picture.

I dare you! What have you got to lose – and what amazing new sensual discoveries could you find in each other?!

The Magical 10 Second Kiss

I am a huge fan of kissing, making out, swapping spit, tonsil hockey or whatever you wish to call it. I came across a lengthy but wonderful post on the internet by Tom of Gresham from 2005 all about the 10 second kiss. Here is a taste of what he had to say:

This is step one for planning the sensual life of your dreams. Kissing can help you lose weight, relax, express love, boost your immune system, improve self-esteem, manage stress and stimulate your brain. Have I captivated your interest? There is one caveat; you have to be kissing your significant other. Here’s something that feels good, is natural, contains no additives, has no calories and is good for your health. So pucker up, it could save your life.

Why Kissing? There are a number of reasons.

A serious, tongue-tangling French kiss exercises all the underlying muscles of the face – which some say could keep you looking younger and certainly looking happier. A pucker kiss only uses two muscles. A real French kiss activates all 34 of your facial muscles, and the highest level of serious making out, properly done, engages every muscle and tendon in your body.

Kissing can slow the aging process – it tones your jaw and cheek muscles, reducing sagging. Kissing might even help you lose weight, says Bryant Stamford, PhD, professor and director of health promotion center at the University of Louisville. “During a really, really passionate kiss, you might burn two calories a minute–double your metabolic rate,” he says. (This compares to 11.2 calories per minute you burn jogging on a treadmill).

Kissing is a “sensual meditation”, says Joy Davidson, PhD, psychologist and clinical sexologist in Seattle, Washington. “It stops the buzz in your mind, it quells anxiety, and it heightens the experience of being present in the moment. It actually produces a lot of the physiological changes that meditation produces.

A few common excuses people have for not practicing the 10 second kiss – and solutions.

Excuse: I’d like to give my wife a ten second kiss when I get home, but I’m afraid my breath will smell and she’ll be offended.
Solution: Invest in fifty two rolls of breath mints, one for each week of the year.

Excuse: I can’t kiss and keep time all at once.
Solution. Set the microwave or oven timer until you get a feel for how long 10 seconds is. If you go over ten seconds…oh, well!

Excuse: The kids/grandkids keep getting in the way.
Solution. Let them try. What better childhood memory could they have than trying to squeeze between Mommy/Daddy or Grandma/Grandpa while they were kissing.

Excuse: When I come in at the end of the day, I get hit with a million problems at once. I can’t get my spouse to stop talking long enough to kiss me.
Solution. Don’t come in the same door every day. Come in another entrance and kiss your spouse. Sneak in the side door.

Excuse: My spouse seems so tense – I don’t want to be a bother.
Solution. The loving energy you’ll transfer to your spouse through kissing will relieve tension and make your spouse feel cherished.

The 10 Second Kiss is only part of the K.I.S.S. Plan that author Ellen Kreidman, PhD, describes in her book The 10 Second Kiss.

http://lionessforlovers.com/navigate/excellent-books-from-amazon/

After the 10 second kiss, comes:

· The 5 second compliment. Compliment at least one thing your mate has said or done daily.
· 30 minute talk. Talk and listen to each other for thirty minutes every day (with the TV off)
· Hug for 30 seconds daily.
· Stay connected sexually.
· Plan a fantasy for each other.
· Make love on the spur of the moment.
· Laugh together – every day.
· Make all your decisions based on love.

I hope you enjoyed this inspiration to kissing – I’m going to plant one on my honey right now before I write another word!

Let me know how it works for you!

Create a Secret Sexy Stash

This is step one for planning the sensual life of your dreams.

Whatever you want to call it, plan some time TOGETHER to chat about your wish-list of all the wonderful goodies you’d love to have at your bedside or when the mood strikes for sensual fun. You may want to do this over a romantic dinner, a quiet evening snuggling after the kids have gone to bed or even while you’re in the car alone for a few precious private moments.

The first tip is to actually write these items down. Yes, create an actual wish-list using a fun pen or marker and fancy paper even! Include things like sensual stories (maybe some you wrote), some spicy lotions, teasing toys, condoms, lubricant (water soluble only!), sexy movies, slinky lingerie and any other libido boosting treats you can dream up!

The second tip is to sit close together while you’re doing it-get physical and touch each other while you develop this romantic accessory list for the sensual life of your dreams. You may decide to lay down to do it or even get side-tracked and make love while you share your secret desires. Whoops! Either way, be near each other, share and open yourself up to the possibilities.

The third tip is to make a plan (with times and dates!) on how and when you will actually gather these delights together to make your Toybox a reality. Decide how you will store everything. A tip for parents: try a cloth bag with a string hanging from a hanger in your clothes closet. Decide who will gather what and by when. Write it down and commit to sharing in the process.

The last tip is to celebrate each phase of your adventure. With your dates recorded, plan a mini-celebration (even a 10 second kiss) as each stage is completed. When you have your list complete, I suggest a grand celebration – get those creative sensual juices flowing!

To help you commit to this fun and sexy experience, email me any stage of your plan and I’ll help you be more accountable. If you need any help with this, please email me and I’ll do what I can to assist you!

I’d love to know how your plans go, so please let me know!

How to Tell Your Partner What You Want!

I understand that a number of you are curious about how to tell your partner exactly what you want and when you want it! If you can tell them about, say, an area on your neck that may be ticklish and that you don’t enjoy the sensation, hopefully they’ll be more careful not to touch it during lovemaking. If you need more or less pressure on your genitals, share that! Giving orders or getting mad or frustrated while in bed is NOT the path to harmonious, satisfying sex.

Alternatively, we are also sometimes in perfect rhythm, with every-thing just right and then, damn, they move! If you had only let your partner know just how right it was, how perfect the speed, pressure, pace or whatever, you could have gone to the moon and back! If he or she doesn’t know (by your words or your actions), how great it is and how important it is for you to have the bliss continuing EXACTLY as it is, how will they know? If you are silent, why wouldn’t they try to change it up a bit to get a reaction of some sort?

So HOW you ask? In this issue let’s discuss the ‘when’. A critical part of any conversation (especially one that you feel is very important) is actually having an agreement from both parties to even have the conversation! Ever said “Honey, we need to talk”? What you’re saying here is that YOU have a need to talk. In fact, the other person in the “we” may not even be aware there is a conversation to have!

Consider, “Honey, I’d like to chat about something that is important to me. Can you let me know when is a good time?” Perhaps while he has his head buried in the car engine or while he’s neck deep in work isn’t a good time. Try to pick a time where the mood is loving and relaxed and you can look your partner in the eye and, better yet, maintain physical contact by holding hands or touching an arm or a thigh. If you have agreement to continue, go for it!

Keep things light and fun. If you’re really shy and don’t want to look at him (though I suggest you work up your courage and look him in the eyes), perhaps you can be sitting beside each other on the couch and watching TV. Say something like “I love the ‘chocolate ice cream’ (insert your sexual play here) that we have/do and I was wondering if we could try adding ’some candy sprinkles to it’ (insert your preferred sexual suggestion here) next time?”

Suggesting an ‘additional’ idea or adding something new will likely get him interested. Suggesting a complete replacement (such as let’s have only banana splits from now on) is likely to put him on the defensive about his choice of dessert!

The key to making this work all the way is up to you – feedback! Let him know clearly how much you’re enjoying the sprinkles and you may be surprised at what he comes up with next!

Is a Threesome Right For You?

The following may seem extreme to some of you. My intent is not to shock or scare anyone, but to offer another persepective and to help you explore your feelings around your own sexuality. All comments are welcome.

I was recently contacted by a woman named Suzy who has an e-book on how to have a threesome with 2 women and a man. She wanted me to promote it to my clients. I requested a copy of her program as I personally check out eveything before I offer it to you. The e-book isn’t bad, but it isn’t something that I feel comfortable offering on my website. If you are interested, please email me and I can give you more information.

The whole idea of threesomes, just like other fantasies (and this is reported to be the number one fantasy for most straight men) may be best kept in the secret places of your mind to be pulled out when you want some extra stimulation for arousal or you want to whisper sexy words to your sweetie. The potential risks of a threesome (and I speak from experience) range from hurt feelings to the dissolving of friendships and relationships.

I’ve spoken with many women who brought another woman into her ‘marital’ bed resulting in a good time at first and then lots of tears and heartbreak afterwards. Sometimes the emotional damage can be repaired over time, but not always. AND I haven’t even mentioned the risk of potential infection or pregnancy!

That is the downside. On a positive note, there are also LOTS of couples who regularly engage in threeway (or more) sexual encounters and they have an absolutely fabulous time! This is not for everyone, but if it truly works for you, and you are both TRULY 100% consenting and comfortable in this scenario (which makes it healthy sexuality), then go for it!

If you are interested in some safe and spicy exploring, here is something you can try which I picked up from Suzy’s e-book. She proposes (and I highly agree!) that you test the waters first. How?

This is a way to try out the idea of a threesome – sort of a threesome simulator! I must caution you that this is only for those of you thinking about the idea or those who want to spice things up a little. If the idea of the following is enticing, then go for it.

If it has you feeling queasy just reading about it – I don’t recommend you try it.

First, get dressed up seductively (keeping it classy) and take your honey out for a romantic evening. Perhaps begin with a meal at a favourite restaurant or a candlelight dinner. Then for dessert off you go to an upscale erotic dance club that has table or lap dancers. You may have to go out of town to find one, depending on where you live.

Spend some time enjoying the dancers and having a drink or two. Once you decide on a girl who interests you both, invite her over and have her dance for either you or your lover while the other watches. This has the potential to be a powerfully erotic experience without a lot of the associated risks of threeway sexual activity.

I suggest you call the club ahead of time to ask for pricing so you aren’t surprised. Suzy suggests having the dancer dance for you first, but I’d say that’s totally up to you. After the dance is over, share your feelings with your partner. Discuss how you each feel and then decide if you want to invite her or another girl over for another dance, or just go home and make mad passionate love! You may decide not to have a private dance and just watch the ladies or simply watch your lover enjoy them.

If this experience turns you off or stirs up feelings of jealousy, please don’t bring another woman into your bed. If, however, it enhances your evening, then take it one step at a time. You may even use the images from the evening as kindling to light your romance flame.

If you want to discuss the idea with me, I’m always available for a few minutes as a sounding board. My best friend was an exotic dancer when I was young so maybe I can help steer you in the right direction.

The important thing here, as always, is communication. Keep the lines open and your words honest and you really can’t go wrong. Whatever you decide, have fun with it!

Is your Love Life Better than Chocolate?

I read an article about how kind words spoken to another can help you change how you feel about life in a positive way! That got me thinking and not only do I think it’s fabulous, I’ve added my own twist to help make it really add sizzle to your relationship.

I challenge you to try this for one week. Each day you say something extra sweet, special and loving to your partner. Do it in a unique way each day. To make it easy for you, I’ll even give you a day by day recipe for the whole week!

On Monday slip a secret love note into your honey’s briefcase or lunch bag. Even a napkin with I love you on it is sure to bring a smile.

On Tuesday try leaving a seductive lipstick message on the bathroom mirror before you go to bed so your beloved sees it in the morning before starting the day.

On Wednesday send a romantic email or a series of increasingly revealing text messages. Just keep them rated PG so they don’t come back to haunt you.

On Thursday record a saucy little webcam message that you can send to your darling at work but ONLY if that is an appropriate environment. If you aren’t sure, keep the message simple but loving. It’s the gesture that counts. If they have a laptop, send a message to let them know that they should be somewhere private before they open your video message. You don’t want to be the hottest thing at Starbucks!

If you don’t have a webcam with your computer, try creating an MP3 using a computer microphone or a digital recorder. If you’re getting frustrated with me and confused about the technology at this point, don’t despair, you can still use my old standby: the tape cassette recorder. Record a sexy message and put it in your honey’s car with a post-it on the dashboard with directions to play what’s in the tape deck when a quiet moment presents itself. You don’t want them listening to you reveal all the romantic things you want to do to them later that evening while they have Jane, Suzie and the rest of the soccer team in the backseat!

On Friday, see if you can get your sweetie to participate (if he or she hasn’t already) by waltzing up behind them and whispering a slinky question in their ear. Try something like: what part of my body would you like to plant your lips on at this moment? If you’re shy, try asking: what was your favourite thing to do when we first got together?

Are you getting the picture?

On Saturday, try slipping out to either a pay phone or the corner store and use your cell phone and call home. Test out your newly developed abilities to say sexy, sweet nothings to your darling. Experiment with how daring you get. Risk a little!

On Sunday, plan a romantic candlelight dinner and turn it into an extended love fest where you go on and on about various body parts and characteristics that you love about your lover! Place a note in the napkin and under their plate so it appears after your scrumptious dinner has been cleared away. Tuck another under the wine glass or tie a note with ribbon to one of the dessert utensils.
Have fun with this.

A bonus for this one is that candlelight is the most flattering light for love. It not only sets the mood, it hides any of those “less than perfect” areas of your body. Candles also offer a perception of safety and comfort so you are more likely to feel secure and uninhibited enough to really look deeply into your partner’s eyes. That can be intensely erotic. If you murmur powerful words of love, that’s even better.

Wow – what a week that’s going to be! How can you make your love last longer?

I’d love to hear your experiences with this so please email me your creative ideas and their sexy results!

Get In The Mood For Love

If you’ve ever wanted a quick 10 minute plan for getting ‘prepped’ for love, unwinding from your day and connecting to your inner lioness, try this on for size.

This is from the book “269 Amazing Sex Tips and Tricks for Women“. Their suggestion for helping you get in the mood for love is short, sweet and will work better the more you practice.

If you’ve experienced Kundalini Yoga you’ll know all about this. I’ve taken some classes and it REALLY helps you get in touch with your erotic breath and erotic energy ;-) It can be tricky finding a local teacher but this is a great place to start! The comments in brackets are mine.

“Kundalini Meditation”

Practitioners of Kundalini Yoga use a special ‘opening-up-the-body meditation’ before meeting their lovers. (this is a 4 step process that they have listed as #239 to #242 from their list of 269 tips)

#239
Stand in one spot, with your knees bent. Let your whole body shake so that it lets go of any tension you might be feeling.

#240
Put on some music and dance, letting your body flow naturally to the rhythms. (I suggest you have a few songs put aside for this purpose. You know – the ones that really get your inner lioness purring, or even roaring! I’m partial to heavier rock songs from AC/DC, Def Leppard or Aerosmith myself.)

#241
Sit and watch your mind at work, as if it were a film and you were viewing it. (try to remain non-judgmental and simply observe…)

#242
Lie down and sense the support that the ground offers you. (You may discover this to be the first time in a long while that you actually are quiet, still and are truly feeling support – embrace it! Remember always to breathe and allow whatever happens to happen.)

This is really all about getting tuned in to your own body and getting out of the typical ‘fight or flight’ mode that most of us tend to live in throughout our days.
 
I’d love to hear suggestions for sexy music – I can post them on the blog too. I’m always looking for new suggestions for sexy pole dance music. I dug out my “Poison” Greatest Hits CD which really brought me back.

If you’re joining us for the Sexy Challenge! (see Lioness Latest above) this is Suggestion #3. Only one more left to go to get you warmed up for summertime loving!

If you wish to purchase the book for 263 other Amazing Tips and Tricks for women Click Here

Rub-a-dub Love

Need a place to escape and relax with your sweetheart, but your vacation is months away? No problem, head to the bathroom!

Draw a bubble bath for two, add a few candles, sparkling juice or wine and voila; a relaxing, romantic escape without leaving home. The water not only makes you slippery, the warmth is one way to get your amygdala to shut down, helping bring your arousal up.

See Jan 2008 Sensual Suggestion for more on the amygdala.

For more sensuality, add aromatic soaps and oils. The scents will work wonders on your mood (and can be beneficial for your skin too!). Just be careful to watch where the oils flow. You must keep them out of the vagina because that promotes bacteria growth.

A waterproof pillow or even a rolled up towel (don’t worry-it will dry!) can provide fun and comfort. Put it behind the head of whomever is on the bottom as a cushion. Want your g-spot to enjoy a little rub-a-dub love too? Put the pillow under your knees and have your partner penetrate you from behind. You can always stand if you have something secure to hang on to.

Use your imagination – what else would that pillow be good for?

Baths not your thing? The shower is great for steamy action as well! Lather up a sponge and see how clean you can make your favorite parts. Washing your lover’s hair can be highly erotic too. Gently scrub his scalp with your fingertips for a lovely massage before allowing him to return the favor.

Ready to try a position other than standing? Add a shower stool to increase your available shower positions.

After your steamy encounter in the bathroom, try drying each other off the s-l-o-w way. Maybe your steamy situation in the bath will follow you to the bedroom.