Not Having Sex is Good for You

A lot of us feel compelled by the media etc. to have sex, sex and more sex because it’s so good for you.  I too speak of how great sex is for you and how it can improve your life.  However, the other end of the spectrum is not addressed often enough.  Listen in as Pam Edgar, host of Living for the Health Of It, chats with me about the idea of not having sex and how that too can actually be healthier for some people than having pressure and guilt added to the mix.  Pick up some tips on how to have open chats with your partner when you have stress, small kids, health issues or other cases where sex isn’t a priority or a good option for you at the time.  We also discuss how to regain sexual relationships after serious health issues where one party has been the care-giver.  It really is all about choice and free will and really trying to find your own Sexual Truth and honouring it.

Click here to listen.

Kim Switnicki on the Wayne & Jayne Radio Show

On June 22nd, I enjoyed chatting about great sex with Wayne & Jayne in the Kootenays on KBS radio.  I shared sexy tidbits about sexuality and intimacy.  Are you orgasmic?  Do you have quality sexual experiences?  Listen and learn what a difference these can make for you in your daily life!

LISTEN HERE NOW

Listen to this clip and find other helpful interviews CLICK HERE.

Age of Aquarius

“When the moon is in the seventh house
And Jupiter aligns with Mars
Then Peace will guide the Planets
And Love will steer the Stars
This is the Dawning of the Age of Aquarius…”

I’m sure that many of you recognize these lyrics…but did you know that THIS year these words take on a literal meaning?

That’s right – On February 14th, 2009, the moon will be in the seventh house and Jupiter will be aligned with Mars.  What does that mean? Well the resulting energies have to do with transforming relationships and a bunch of other stuff.

So if you’re into astrology try taking about 5 minutes around 7:20am (in any time zone) and focus on planetary healing.  If you’re not so into astrology, look at it as another reason to make this Valentine’s Day the most romantic ever!

Passionately,

Kim Switnicki, ACC, ECPC
Sex Educator, Speaker, Intimacy Coach

Author of “G-Spot PlayGuide: 7 Simple Steps to G-Spot Heaven!”
Pick up your Free Report on Top 10 Ways to be a Sexier, more Confidant Woman
www.lionessforlovers.com/pages/sign-up-for-sexy-ezine.htm

A Hot, Chocolaty Holiday

With the holidays upon us chocolate items are everywhere.  Many of you know the benefits of chocolate as a “pick-me-up”, but did you also know that it can have a positive impact on your sexuality?  That’s right!  A woman who enjoys chocolate has been said to be more in tune with herself sensually.  Chocolate contains phenyl-ethylamine, which is a chemical that stimulates the release of dopamine into pleasure centers that are associated with orgasms.  How cool is that?

While my colleagues search for ways to fit sex into their subject headings, my clientele often finds chocolate more enticing.  A lot of women (are you one?) would take a quick two minutes to savour a piece of organic dark chocolate (my favourite) over two minutes of sex or intimacy.  Am I right?

Chocolate stimulates all the senses, melting in your mouth at body temperature, the smooth texture and sweet aroma heightens the sensuality of the experience.  So I say, instead of choosing chocolate over love-making, add it TO your love-making.  Cure your sweet tooth (and your honey’s) by using chocolate, adding a whole new saucy experience to your bedroom.

Here are some quick and easy ways to add saucy intimacy into your holidays.  Remember that intimacy and sensual/sexual activity greatly reduces stress, so do what you can to reduce the stress for yourself this holiday season.

1. Create a “bedroom sundae” buffet. Here’s how: Spread out a blanket or a sheet on the bed.  Set out bowls of your favourite fruits, some Kama Sutra chocolate body paint, and whipped cream.  Have your sweetie lay in the center and paint his or her body with the chocolate and place the fruit along the torso, legs, etc.  (please make sure you keep all sugary items OUT of the vagina).  Then enjoy your “sundae” as you eat and lap up every last delicious morsel.
2. Create a “Sense-ual” experience. Here’s how: Blindfold your sweetie.  Lay on the bed and spread some chocolate body paint, fairy dust, fruit, or all of the above in various places on your body (again keeping out of the vagina).  Once you’ve completed this, allow your sweetie to find his “treats” using his sense of smell, touch and taste. For extra fun, bind his or her hands so they have to get creative with discover.
3. You can also try ’sharing’ your delicious piece of chocolate with your lover by kissing and passing it back and forth until it melts – enjoy this variation on the 10 second kiss!

Passionately,

Kim Switnicki, ACC, ECPC
Sex Educator, Speaker, Intimacy Coach

Author of “G-Spot PlayGuide: 7 Simple Steps to G-Spot Heaven!”
Pick up your Free Report on Top 10 Ways to be a Sexier, more Confidant Woman
www.lionessforlovers.com/pages/sign-up-for-sexy-ezine.htm

Should We Watch Each Other Masturbate?

QUESTION

My lover really likes to watch me masturbate.  Is this normal and is there a hidden message?  Thanks.

ANSWER

Hello Jane (names protected),

Thanks so much for sending this question in to me! I think watching each other masturbate is a fabulous, sexy and healthy way for lovers to inter-act. Not only does your lover see EXACTLY how you like to be pleasured, but they get to watch you in the throes of passion without being distracted by their own actions (of trying to stimulate you themselves).

I personally have always been turned on by watching my lovers. It’s the voyeur in me. As long as it isn’t inappropriate (such as watching someone who doesn’t want to be watched), it’s all good! The only problem I can see is if one of you is not comfortable with this. My definition of healthy sexuality is one that is 100% consensual and brings pleasure to all parties. If you both enjoy it, I don’t see a reason to read anything hidden at all :-)  As for normal, there is a HUGE range for “normal” sexuality and I’m not sure what normal really is. I can tell you it is VERY common and I think a great thing to do.

FOLLOW-UP

Kim – thanks so much for your response. I guess maybe I’m the one with the backward thinking – that my lover should be the one pleasuring me as opposed to myself. I would not have thought to watch my lover masturbate – it doesn’t seem like it would excite me – however – getting insight into what he likes would be. (Which I think is your point.) I will ask and see what his reaction is. Thanks again!  Jane

Passionately,

Kim Switnicki, ACC, ECPC
Sex Educator, Speaker, Intimacy Coach

Author of “G-Spot PlayGuide: 7 Simple Steps to G-Spot Heaven!”
Pick up your Free Report on Top 10 Ways to be a Sexier, more Confidant Woman www.lionessforlovers.com/pages/sign-up-for-sexy-ezine.htm

Healthy Sexual Choices Made by Confident Teenage Girls!

Recent research suggests that girls ages 12 – 13 who have strong self concept, have not tried smoking and are not overweight are less likely to have sexual intercourse by the age 14 or 15. On the other hand, young boys who have tried smoking, have a poor relationship with parents and live in a low-income household at the age of 12 – 13 are more likely to be having sexual intercourse by the age 14 – 15. It appears that young boys are influenced more by social factors while young girls are influenced by personal and individual factors, and are more likely to be in situations in which they feel pressured into having sex with older boys. Since the factors differ so greatly between boys and girls, it is imperative that each receives sexual education appropriate to their needs.

Unfortunately, some believe that appropriate sexual education consists of telling teens to wait until they are older before having sex, and to use condoms if they must do so sooner. But how motivating is it to hear “no?” The last time someone told you no, was there a part of you that felt like saying, “Who are you to tell me what I can and can’t do?” Studies have shown consistently that abstinence education does not work. It seems that we are seeing proof that instilling confidence in our youth will go a long way to helping them become positively sexually empowered to make the choices that will benefit them. Let the education begin!

Imagine a marriage where the honeymoon goes on and on…

What will great sex do for your marriage, your partner, your life?

Does your bedroom shout ‘sensual heaven’ or is it crying out ‘clutter nightmare’? Your bedroom should be a haven, a room to retreat to when pressure and stress get to you. When you and your lover enter, breathe in deeply, be present and devote yourselves to relaxation, rejuvenation and yes, Romance!

Set the stage for a lifetime of love and intimacy:

• Remove clutter from night tables (no homework, paperwork or bills to pay)
• Hide books in drawers unless they turn you on
• Keep sexy accessories clean and handy (with spare batteries too)
• Pick clothes up off the floor (keep them in closets, drawers, a hamper or another room)
• Add mood lighting such as a dimmer switch, pot lights or tri-light lamp
• Have scented candles, a holder and matches handy (don’t leave unattended)
• Fresh flowers always add the air of romance to a room
• Keep refreshing mints available for morning breath and sunrise surprises
• Have a piece of passionate inspiration on the walls such as a piece of art, a portrait of you and your lover or even a gorgeous view out a window
• Splurge on sensual covers for the bed and pillows in luxurious fabrics
• Adorn bed with pillows of all shapes and sizes (fabulous for lovemaking accessories too!)
• Bottled water is always advisable for hydration when things get hot (so you don’t have to get up!)

Show your partner that he and lovemaking are a priority in your life. Plan now to make your love-life stronger & more vibrant – even after you’re married!

Passionately,

Kim Switnicki, ACC, ECPC
Sex Educator, Speaker, Intimacy Coach

Author of “G-Spot PlayGuide: 7 Simple Steps to G-Spot Heaven!”
Pick up your Free Report on Top 10 Ways to be a Sexier, more Confidant Woman www.lionessforlovers.com/pages/sign-up-for-sexy-ezine.htm

His Penis is Too Big – What Do I Do?

I received this email from a woman concerned about how to handle her man’s large penis.

QUESTION:

I have a problem that doesn’t seem to get talked about much and I really would like some help!

I’ve been dating a man for a while, it’s a good relationship and I would like to move it to a more intimate level. We are both in our 40’s, we’ve both been married, it’s not like I’m an inexperienced woman. But his penis is quite large and I’m a bit intimidated. He’s very open about the fact, and has made me believe that he knows how to make me ready and can be patient with me while I’m getting used to his size. What can I do to make it better for both of us? Are there positions or techniques you can recommend? What about fellatio? I enjoy it, but again, his size is a concern for me.

I really don’t want to freak out over this. I just want to be prepared and do what I can to make our sex life as satisfying as the rest of our time together.

The answer is long, but if this has ever concerned you, read on! I will be offering a podcast on this topic since it is more common than you think!

ANSWER:

It’s odd that so many men wish they were bigger and you’d be surprised how many women actually do want their men smaller. You are not alone! I recall having a boyfriend who was extra large and wish I knew then what I do now! ;-)

It sounds like your man is patient and experienced with helping his partner become aroused to take him in fully. That is certainly key. The vagina is a very ’stretchable’ canal. If you’ve had children, you know what it is capable of doing!

One of the best things you can do is to not think about it. In fact, when you are ‘thinking’, the part of your brain that enjoys sexual response and stimulation isn’t engaged so you need to do your best to go with the flow and simply enjoy the experience. You’ll probably find that after you make love the first time, most of your concerns will melt away. What can you do to help them melt away before you even begin? I know it is easier said than done so I offer you some tips to help you feel more confident that this will go smoothly.

It sounds like your man is warm and caring and wants nothing more than to please you and ensure you are satisfied. Another secret is to have you reach orgasm before you even consider penetration since this way, you know you’ll be aroused ;-)  If you don’t allow any penetration until you are practically (not literally) begging for it, you should be aroused enough and ‘open’ enough to handle things. After orgasm is a great time for penetration!

When arousal occurs, the vaginal walls swell, become engorged with blood and get lubricated and everything shifts around to allow for penetration. You also want to ensure that you have a water soluble lubricant handy since, as we age, we naturally lubricate less. Don’t be concerned about adding a natural lubricant to your existing juices. You can’t have too much slipperiness and it will make things easier and more pleasurable for you both.

As for positions, you have a few options. Any position where you are in control of the penetration will help you feel more confident which is less likely to have you tense (and tighten) up. So if you were to lay on top of him with your tummies together and your pubic bone on his belly button (remember to have already applied some extra lubrication before you get on top of him) and then slowly slide yourself down to meet his penis. You can look into his eyes and feel his caring arms around you and slowly lower yourself and perhaps rub your clitoris against him or grind a little to get him excited and increase your breathing and just imagine how long you’ve waited and how great this will feel. You don’t have to go any further or deeper than you want to. You may simply have his penis at your vaginal opening while you stimulate your clitoris and get yourselves each hot and excited. You may find that if you bring yourself to orgasm this way, you my slide even deeper because you want him inside you when you orgasm. Just be open to all the possibilities and relax with it and don’t pressure yourself. Imagine for a moment if you do this and orgasm laying on top of him, how erotic do you think that will be for him to experience with you?

You can also try to find a dildo that is approximately his size and experiment with it when you masturbate. You’ll need to ensure that you are really aroused though. We don’t often get as aroused when we’re alone as we do with our partners :-) This may help you build your confidence as well.

You can try spooning where he lies behind you and approaches you from the back since he can’t go as deep that way. You also have control with your legs and body to move into a more comfortable position. You can try the man on top missionary position but have your legs straight down between his so again, he can’t go very deep. You can also be on your tummy laying down with him on top of you like a flat doggie style but you have much less control with this so wait until you’ve had some experience with him :-)

One more position is for you to be on top but laying on your back so your backside is on his tummy and then he can’t go as deep and you have the control and you have your hands free to stimulate your clitoris too.
Remember that making love doesn’t always involve intercourse. You can masturbate each other and still have a fabulous intimate, mind blowing experience with no penetration at all! Just have fun with it!

As for oral sex, the main goal is NOT to have all of him in your mouth, but to make love to his penis by licking, sucking, fondling, playing with lubricant (I love flavoured lube for this) and generally making him feel good. If you fell good and are treating his penis like a delicious ice cream and involve your hands, tongue, mouth and even other body parts (perhaps a quick breast or foot slide up and down) then I can assure you, he will LOVE it! Don’t forget his perineum, testicles, belly button, buttocks, nipples and any other area of his body that he enjoys getting licked, nibbled or caressed. You can’t go wrong and you can only improve!

We have some great flavoured lubricants (here under Tasty Treats http://www.lionessforlovers.com/shop/) and even an audio CD to help you tap into your sensual side so you boost your sexual self-confidence in any situation (here under Lioness Exclusives http://www.lionessforlovers.com/shop/)

So trust your vagina to stretch, ensure you’re turned on by at least one orgasm, have lots of foreplay, lots of lubricant, maybe do some practice on your own, get creative with positions where you are in control and above all, relax and have fun!

Passionately,

Kim Switnicki, ACC, ECPC
Sex Educator, Speaker, Intimacy Coach

Author of “G-Spot PlayGuide: 7 Simple Steps to G-Spot Heaven!”
Pick up your Free Report on Top 10 Ways to be a Sexier, more Confidant Woman www.lionessforlovers.com/pages/sign-up-for-sexy-ezine.htm

How to Regain Sexual Confidence after Years with No Sex

Another question from a concerned 50 year old woman:

Dear Kim,

I heard you on Alissa Kriteman (podcast) and found the talk really inspiring.

I am 50 years old and was in a sexless marriage for almost 20 years. I was previously very comfortable with my sexuality. After once pursuing me relentlessly, my former husband rejected me sexually after the birth of our first child, while at the same time making it clear that he fancied other women.

My children are now grown up and I feel that I need to venture out in pursuit of passion.  However my confidence is shot. I have no problem attracting men but I am really nervous in bed with them going near my vagina. I attempted penetrative sex once and it was really painful as I was completely dry. That experience left me feeling even more arid and past it. I am very much on a spiritual path and in search of sacred sexuality.

Could you offer some inspirational advice on how to make myself more confident with my body and how to prepare myself for a sexual encounter? What are the best lubricants?

ANSWER

Thank you so much for contacting me – I’m glad you were inspired by the show!  What you experienced with your husband after your child was born is common, though not often spoken of. Not a very nice thing to happen to you, for sure.

First of all – good for you for wanting to get out again and experience the pleasure that you deserve and that you know from experience you can have! Women often shut down permanently so “yay” for you for going for it.

As we age, we lubricate less, even if we are aroused. I think a good water soluble lubricant is the greatest sexual empowerment accessory you can have. I’m 43 and always have a bottle handy just to make things even more slippery. I’m a huge fan of Forplay Succulents lubricant since it is naturally flavoured with no artificial sweeteners (they can irritate the vaginal walls). You can see some of the flavour options here:

http://lionessforlovers.com/shop/index.php?main_page=product_info&cPath=4&products_id=20

I suggest you allow yourself time to really re-connect with your sensual side with real quality time for you to self-pleasure and get to know the caresses and touches your body really wants. A long, hot bath while you caress yourself and really take the time to appreciate all of your curves and dimples and wisdom marks and scars all over your body can be very empowering. They ALL come together to create the amazing, feminine power that is you!

Try this after the bath. Look in the mirror at your naked beautiful self and really be gentle and loving. Look deep into your eyes and seek out your heart and soul and find the wisdom that is there inside of you right now. Ask your higher self to offer you some words of advice to really help you get through this next phase of your journey. Ask it what you need to do next to more easily embrace your sacred sexuality. Allow yourself the time and space to be open to the answers – whatever the answers are, know that they are absolutely right for you right now.

I have an audio program called the Sacred Sexy Circle. The CD is currently included in my new G-Spot PlayGuide which is 7 Simple Steps to G-Spot Heaven and you don’t even need a partner. It was created for a woman like you who wants to find that deeper connection to her inner sensual and sexual self so she can experience all of the sexual satisfaction and intimacy that she not only secretly craves but deserves. The link is here: http://www.lionessforlovers.com/pages/g-spot-promo.htm

I’m not trying to sell these to you but merely let you know they are there as inexpensive tools to help you on your path to feel more confident so that you can have the love life you want.

If you sign up on the home page at www.lionessforlovers.com you can get a free e-book on how to be sexier and more confident. Perhaps try that first and see if any of those tips offer you any inspiration. I am also available for coaching one-on-one, but you may want to explore these other options first. I suspect you may surprise yourself. You are taking lovely steps already by a) listening to the call and b) writing to me. You’re inspiring to me! Keep on your path – it will be so incredibly worth it. Good luck to you!

Passionately,

Kim Switnicki, ACC, ECPC
Sex Educator, Speaker, Intimacy Coach

Author of “G-Spot PlayGuide: 7 Simple Steps to G-Spot Heaven!”
Pick up your Free Report on Top 10 Ways to be a Sexier, more Confidant Woman www.lionessforlovers.com/pages/sign-up-for-sexy-ezine.htm

Carla Tara offers goodies for your life

Hello!

 

My friend Carla Tara, expert on relationships, communication and Tantra, is honored to invite you to participate in an exciting one-day event!  And as our way of saying, “Thank you for your participation,” you will receive a Package of Bonuses of extraordinary value (Valued over $1,000).

 

Imagine having the key to a treasure box containing the secret tools to create an extraordinarily happy, rich and expansive life. Envision having access to the treasure box at any time…

 

Carla has brought together, along with her book, an extraordinary package of dynamic and transformative content that will act as the key to open the treasure box within.

 

This content came from an “A-List” of success experts, bestselling authors, pioneers, and leaders in several fields who are supporting Carla in achieving

“Best Seller Status” for her highly anticipated first book entitled:

 

Lessons From a Tantric Tango Dancer: A Journey into Intimacy, Relationships and Love

 

Jack Canfield, Joe Vitale, Monique Chapman, Dr. Ava Cadell, Peggy McColl, and Morgana Rae, as well as several other influential minds, are generously contributing their bonus gifts.

 

If you are getting this email, you are most likely someone who likes to make things happen, not just talk about it.

 

“Today Only” (October 7^th) when you purchase Carla’s new book up until Midnight tonight… you will have immediate access to the “Bonus Bundle of Gifts” (Valued over $1,000 dollars!)

 

To take advantage of this special offer and immediately download the free gifts…

Click Here to view all the details of this special offer!

 

“In this book, Carla invites you to consider what is happening in your life as a gift that reminds you of your control over your beliefs,

and ability to attract what you deeply desire.  She also gives you simple and powerful tools to do so.  It is an enlightening and fun read.”  - Dr. Judy Kuriansky, internationally renowned clinical psychologist and author of “The Complete Idiot’s Guide to Tantric Sex” 

There are many pearls of wisdom and life affirming lessons to explore from reading Lessons From a Tantric Tango Dancer.

 

It may be the best purchase you will make all year!  Carla’s book  would also make a great gift.

 

This offer requires only the tiniest investment, while bringing you a return beyond belief, but the time is limited so…act now!

Click Here to purchase Carla’s book:

 

P.S. Enjoy the book, and enjoy your dance of life!

 

P.P.S. We encourage you to pass this link on to your friends and share in the excitement and gift giving. Forward this email to whomever you believe can benefit from this special “Today Only” (October 7^th, 2008) offer.

Link to the special Book Promo Page!